the principality of things.......

...a new beginning...

2007-10-30T20:33:00.000Z

SQ322 - This was the flight that I took and was also the longest flight I have taken till date. Economy class seating really stretched my dollar to the limits. There was practically no room for any decent (or indecent) leg movement. It almost seemed as though I was caught in a tight fix.

The food that was served was edible and palatable. Hey, it came from a menu specially designed by a chef from London who is supposedly a renowned chef. Supposedly. My seat was originally a seat smacked between two girls - Clare and Sophia. However as Clare had a sudden realisation that she frequents the toilet far too many times while on board the plane, we made a mutual exchange The window seat (where there wasn't much of a view either considering that it was a night flight) was no better for sitting just in front of me was a girl who could not stop throwing up. Yes, she even threw up before the plane departed. Behind me - was a young African-American child who couldn't stop kicking my seat throughout the flight. I kept to my silence and diverted my attention to other things (like Surf's Up - one of the movies for in flight entertainment)

Welcome to London! So said this woman with a phony-accented English over the intercom for all on board SQ322 to hear. 13 hours and 30 minutes. My legs were numb from the sitting and lack of movement. Somehow, the suggested periodic exercises to perform to avoid cramps and whatever not didn't seem plausible.

London-Heathrow Terminal 3 was a mess. One serious HUGE mess! There was a serious lack in structure and organisation plus the queue was ridiculously long. In addition, the staff there (perhaps due to the heavy workload and meagre salary) were kind of rude and somewhat obnoxious as well. Well, welcome to discrimination at its finest. My consolation - holding on to a Singapore passport. At least I was still treated with some dignity and civility that amounted, perhaps in their definition of according respect to another individual, to some extent. I could not say the same to those who held on to an Indian or worst, Pakistani passport. Yet what befuddled me most was a simple fact that almost all personnel manning the customs booth were of migrant descent and would have therefore experienced similar discrimination if not ostracism. Well, perhaps this would be a fine showing of the sage old adage 'a tit of a tat'. So much for liberation!

Finally I managed to collect my luggage at the conveyor belt. All in safe hands and intact. Thank God!

What caught me in surprise was how one entire group (and I really mean one entire group) of ***** scholars (let's try to be sensitive here especially when it involves the stars and how much we love to A-ppreciate it) were standing clustered together, anxiously waiting for their luggage to come out of the conveyor belt at row 6 (which read Bangkok) when it was at row 9 (which read Singapore). I was indeed dumbfounded - hoping for someone to knock some stars (oops I meant sense) out of me.

En route to Imperial via the school shuttle bus. Exciting and invigorating. I can't wait to explore this new environment and of course, start school.

a grave error...

2007-10-29T18:54:00.000Z

An error in judgement will lead to repercussions.
I made a serious lack of judegement recently (just before I departed actually) all in a moment of haste and fleeting excitement. While I know the end user understands my intention yet I think I am once again reminded of the simple fact of having to think of the bigger picture, the larger scale.

I have indeed learnt dearly from this lesson and yes I have to be more cautious in the future.

The consolation - the other party isn't holding it against me which I am indeed thankful for.

My prayer: the repercussions will not be devasting and will be easily containable.

how great is our god...

2007-09-14T16:22:00.000+01:00

While I was watching random videos on youtube, I stumbled upon this particular video:

The song is 'How Great is our God' by Chris Tomlin

This is the lyrics for the song:

The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty

Let all the earth rejoice

All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide

And trembles at His voice

Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me

How great is our God, and all will see

How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands

And time is in His hands

Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One

Father Spirit Son

The Lion and the Lamb

Name above all names

Worthy of all praise

My heart will sing

How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me

How great is our God, and all will see

How great, how great is our God

Ode to Teachers

2007-09-03T05:44:00.000+01:00

Ode to Teachers

(This was the words of appreciation I dedicated to the teachers of Presbyterian High School on 31 August 2007)

To pen an appreciation to dynamism and professionalism is no easy feat.

Enveloped by a culmination of nostalgia and excitement, my teaching experience here at my Alma Mater has indeed been a humbling one.

Admiration. One earnest word that best articulate a regard I hold for these pillars of strength – the teachers of Presbyterian High School.

Championing values and principles, painstakingly nurturing unpolished rough stones, your teachers are indeed remarkable educators.

Honeyed words while some may say; yet honest truth is all that has been said.

Embracing your idiosyncrasies, something your teachers always do. Disheartened, perhaps, by your choices; disappointed, perhaps, by your actions; heartened, at last, by your new-found maturity. Your teachers have never once taken a step away from you. In fact, they yearn to walk closer with you.

Recognition – not of formality or contrition – but instead of a simple gratitude.

So would you please, join me and give your teachers a resounding applause for their unwavering fervour and zeal.

UK Bound 2007

2007-08-31T05:31:00.000+01:00

The Butter Factory at Robertson Quay was where UK Bound 2007 was held for this year.

I was lost! I couldn't find my way. There was no light at the end of any tunnel that could lead me to the right directions. So much for my optimism and my trust in my gut feeling. After having walked endless rounds Clarke Quay and by the river (trust me I walked passed a flier distributor 5 times that on the sixth time, it almost seemed that we knew each other for an eternity!)

Finally I reached! With the help of Xing Cong who came at 7pm (the event was supposed to start at 8pm) to lead his LSE friends there.

My purpose for attending UK Bound 2007 - to support Reuben and Clare. Pity they weren't paired up together. That would have indeed been a great show! Surprisingly (actually owing to an act of sabotage), Xing Cong and Ashraf were also pulled up on stage for the pageant together with Reuben and Clare. It almost became The MOE Show (Ta da!)

Vodka lime (quite a refreshing taste actually) and Asahi Beer (both complimentary drinks by the way - note the grin!) plus some silly dancing around, I left at about 12.30am hoping that the Night Rider will be in service but to my disappointment. It was not Friday, Weekends or a Public Holiday. The painful taxi ride home!

On my way home, I tried to rehearse the lines I would say to the school for Teacher's Day but somehow, my mind was drifting away to a land far far away.

...Donuts...

2007-08-29T05:26:00.000+01:00

I finally bought my donuts from The Donut Factory!

Twelve mouth-watering and simply irresistible donuts from a myriad of choices for a price of twelve-dollars-and-fifty-cents.

Standing in line for approximately twenty minutes (no, not twenty rounds!) at twelve noon (I wonder what's with all the twelve?); waiting anxiously for my turn to start selecting the delectable donuts that Homer Simpson so affectionately craves and yearns for.

The taste - worth the wait!

Sojourn 2007

2007-08-27T05:03:00.000+01:00

Sojourn 2007 - the orientation camp organised by Imperial College Singapore Society was held at Sentosa from 24 August to 26 August 2007.

The day started out with an air of excitement albeit the dark skies and passing showers. First up was a series of ice-breaker games within our respective groups (so as to ease us in and get us into the mood). Lunch was served next (though served in a Styrofoam box and was not exactly appetising). After lunch, we had another round of ice breaker games (this time with all the groups playing 'blow wind blow'). Thereafter, we commenced the inter-group activities which included 'spinning 10 rounds around an umbrella whose handle decided to give way after the 5th person's spin and to carry a watermelon across a distance and to end it off by eating it up as a group', 'captain's ball but with your feet tied with another person' and 'ultimate frisbee'. The games were interesting and fun however some players were a little too competitive for my liking. Whatever happened to all in good fun?

At night (after dinner), we had a series of night games which ended at 12.30am. I think that night our group sang the spiderpig song from the simpsons movie and danced to the national day song 'Take a little trip around Singapore town' (Johnny must be so proud of us!) countless of times so as to provide the game masters some pure entertainment. I wonder perhaps they missed too much of Channel 5 on mediacorp TV (Channel 5 apparently provides pure entertainment or so it claims).

Sleep in a tiny little hut with two double decker beds and a small area for each person to put their stuff. I wasn't complaining much because there was air-conditioning. At 18 degree Celsius throughout the night, I think the four of us in that hut are more than ready to embrace the temperatures in London.

The second day, we went for an Amazing Race at Orchard where we were supposed to complete a series of tasks and once again do silly stuff. In addition, we also had to purchase specific local delights (e.g. ice kachang) from specific places before we proceeded to the next pit stop. My take back - Reverso from Island Creamery (a huge scoop of chocolate ice-cream with chunks of cookies and cream). I was on cloud's nine. The night was a barbecue with at first the seniors at the grill but thereafter us freshers taking over the grill for faster and food delivery (no thanks to my suggestion!) With dinner nicely tucked inside my stomach, all of us then went to the beach for some light-hearted interaction and games with a small dose of Absolut concoction.

The morning of the third day, we bade each other farewell and hopes of seeing each other at UK bound held at The Butter Factory.

night cycling

2007-08-16T10:02:00.000+01:00

The many times I fell off the bicycle. I thought it was seven times but I soon lost count (rather I couldn't be bothered to count after the second fall) after a while. It almost seemed as though every fall I made was a signal to take a breather. Of the many times I fell, I was only injured on one occasion. My left foot suffered a nasty cut.

Despite a painful butt thereafter, I must say that night cycling was indeed an enjoyable moment!

Cycled around east coast park for an hour or so while waiting for the traffic to lighten. Passed by families, couples, campers and seafood diners. The pedal work needed some time for me to get acquainted with once more; considering that the last time I sat foot on a bicycle was three years ago. Wobbled at some parts but I mostly escaped but asking very nicely albeit loudly for people and cyclists to move to one side while I cycled pass them. Essentially, it was either they embrace the consequences of this road hazard to others of which I will most definitely not be held accountable for or have faith that nothing will ever happen. I think most people held on to the former.

From east coast, we cycled via fort road and reached clarke quay. I must say that late night activities at clarke quay was somewhat a refreshing experience never mind the physical intimacies in some instances.

From clarke quay, we then cycled via marina bay (passing by the floating stadium where NSFs were guarding the place - my heartfelt sentiments go to these people for I truly understand what it means to be wearing clothes you wouldn't want to be caught dead in but because of national security you people decide to perform this noble task of which I once did (note the past tense here!) and now yours to do so!) and rested at the esplanade where we started to take beautiful pictures of us against the picturesque backdrop.

Next, we proceeded to lau pa sat (there was some deliberation on where to eat at lau pa sat but democracy and logic got the upper hand) where we filled up our famished souls.

The journey back (via mountbatten) to east coast park was just as captivating as before. The fun we had playing on the roads (literally we played on the roads, occupying all the lanes for that matter), shouting words that contained euphoria was indeed a once in a life time experience.

Once more at bedok jetty, we rested and waited for the sun to rise. Beautiful morning accompanied by an orchestrated morning breeze. Some pictures taken and finally we cycled back to the bicycle shop where we would return the bicycles after a spot of breakfast at MacDonald.

There was an incident at MacDonald pertaining to clearing up after we leave and how much leaves to be said on us educated youth and its direct casual impact on this old lady which callously I labelled her something that would only add on to how undesirable she already is. But never mind about her! It's not worth devoting much space for such a person.

The journey home was painfully torturous. I couldn't sleep for fear of missing my stop. I really wondered how Joel managed to drive home after the night cycling. It must have been an eye-opening experience!

A big thank you to the organisers for this night cycling as well as the people who planned the route and took care of the safety of the cyclists. An even BIGGER thank you to everyone who went for the cycling for constantly looking out for this road hazard (though I will not divulge the real reasons).

Here's presenting the night cycling participants:

(Eugene's face is being blocked by Aini)

pictures

2007-08-13T08:49:00.000+01:00

Here's a collage of the photos from the teaching scholarship presentation!

teaching scholarship presentation ceremony

2007-08-06T16:14:00.000+01:00

Today will remain etched in my mind for a very very long time...

The teaching scholarship presentation held at Suntec City today officially commenced at 3.15pm (someone had to come a little late to establish the common understanding of importance).

The speech was enlightening (though I was not paying much attention to its depth). Georgi's name was mentioned though and all of us overseas scholars led the audience and including the speaker to a resounding applause. I guess it was at this moment that reality descended upon me.

A total of 296 recipients and I was recipient number 260.

"Well done Albert!" he said.
"Thank you Sir." I replied.

With my certificate clutched in my left hand, I walked down from the stage.

Waiting in pitch darkness for our cue to move the props up on stage was actually quite fulfilling. To have Eugene, Ashraf, Ian and I mimicking the seeds was indeed refreshing. Seriously, which gardener wouldn't want to have us all four seeds!

Performance. The laughter and applause pretty much sums it all up. What sunk in the most was when the guest of honour looking at the lyrics and hearing us sing. Indeed, it made the song ever more meaningful!

Socialising with the editor of Lianhe Zaobao was not as excruciating as I imagined it to be. Considering that there were three Indians in our group who knew nuts about the Chinese media and entertainment scene, I would say that the session was pretty much a fruitful one. Nevertheless, the manner in which he ended the session was somewhat classic. "Want some food?" he said with alacrity which then followed by a surprising strong handshake.

Finally, I managed to locate Miss Cynthia Yeo, the teacher I invited for the ceremony. Mr Thomas Aldrin, my secondary three Chemistry teacher was also present. Following that, I met my secondary school principal, Mrs Carolin Tan. This served as a prelude to a bout of photos subsequently taken.

I was dwarfish in one picture yet taller the next. I was gleaming in most of my pictures, though acting silly in some and greedy in one. I was in short just simply being simply Albert!

Most of the photos taken with me in it came from various sources (which I am very grateful for) because I left my camera with my mum and it only contained pictures with either my family or my teachers and principal. I wonder should I upload them onto facebook?

Today will indeed remain etched in my mind for a very long time...
(the 3 dots at the end is dedicated to a certain someone)

...spider pig...

2007-08-04T05:38:00.000+01:00

This song has been sticking in my head for quite a while...

spider pig
spider pig
does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing from a web
no he can't
he's a pig
loook oouuut!
he's a spider pig

courtesy of homer simpson

...kbox...

2007-08-01T05:31:00.000+01:00

I say that kBox was interesting
I say that kBox was interesting because it was my first time there
I say that kBox was interesting because I managed to sing quite a number of songs
I say that kBox was interesting because I had lots of fun!

Though a little expensive and the drinks were rather minimal, but I guess nothing beats the excitement and laughter that all of us had.

Kudos to Biao and Andrea!

rehearsals

2007-07-30T05:26:00.000+01:00

Rehearsals!
Trying to perfect each scene is always daunting.
Anyhow the main event is coming soon.

...passed...

2007-07-23T11:14:00.000+01:00

I have finally passed my driving! (my second stab at it!)

Here's what the tester said to me after my test:
"Your car was a little slanted for the vertical parking; but you can drive!"

I was dumbfounded.

But, nevermind that.

Most importantly, I passed!

...seven days of talks...

2007-07-21T10:28:00.000+01:00

I travelled more than an hour to attend a series of talks and programmes. While some are interesting; yet others are just mind-boggling.

Don;t get me wrong. I ain't confused by the happenings in the talks and discussions. In fact, I think I am pretty much still saint in spite of the long arduous torture. I am rather confused by the things people say and often wonder is it due to naivety or idealistic. Well, in any case, I wasn't in the pink of health either.

I think the best programme was the cooking cum life skills lesson held at RGS where I actually managed to oven-bake a chicken and eat it thereafter. Quite yummy I must say.

Nonetheless, I think I wouldn't mind considering dabbling into public policies!

...my obs journey...

2007-07-12T14:32:00.000+01:00

So I am finally back from OBS and may I say that it was indeed a stupendous moment!

Day One - 7 July 2007

My trusty alarm clock sounded at 6.30am though my sleep was not really an uninterrupted one. Somehow, I just woke up a couple of times during my sleep, thinking that it was time to wake up and prepare for departure. Excitement? More like a deja vu of anxiety I guess.

Drank a cup of hot milo (there was no farmhouse milk!), boarded the buses but only to encounter an unexpected downpour. When I finally reached the bus stop near Punggol Jetty, it was sardined-packed with people (mostly MOE scholars), cuddling each other (thankfully no one started to embrace each other!), trying their utmost best to avoid being further drenched by the rain. Moments later, disposable raincoats were dished out to us and that was also when we started to board the ferry to bring us to Pulau Ubin where the OBS course was to be conducted.

One startling observation while waiting for the programme to commence was how the local scholars just almost instantaneously grouped together and started to sing in seemingly rehearsed voices accompanied by appropriate hand gestures. It almost seemed that the camp fire had already begun though we were confined to the MPH and the sun was still smiling brightly. To me, this sight was indeed an eye-opener! Yet, perhaps for us overseas scholars, we have been meeting up countless times prior to OBS that such contrite camaraderie was unnecessary. Nonetheless, it was indeed a well-received prelude to the next 3 days at OBS.

A quick tour of the place (didn't really pay much attention though) and we were then settled into our respective groups. Washington - that was my group name, comprising of 15 people in total. Some ice-breaker games, the usual 'which jc were you from,' 'what course are you studying,' and 'where are you studying', the typical after-self-introduction conversations... the fun finally commenced.

My first accomplishment - I managed to successfully scale the rock wall and reach the peak. The climb was somewhat arduous especially nearer the top when the rocks started to get a little further apart but overall enjoyable!

The meals provided were palatable (and yes we had to wash our own dishes thereafter) but forgettable. The sleep on the first night was pretty much a sound one, probably owing to the lack of it the night before.

Oh yes, I was made the leader for the sea expedition...(my heart wrenched with new found fear)

Day Two - 8 July 2007

6.30am - That was the time to meet with all of our belongings. Washington was late - very late to be more specific. To put it in a nice manner, I think the girls could have organised their packing a little better. But, lets not go into a blaming game!

Kayaking. My first experience where I was also looking forward to it. Partnering with Sophia, we kayaked on the lettman where I was the starboard. Initially, the coordination between a physics and chemist was somewhat lacking however, with the right elements and sparks, things eventually worked out!

I must say that I am proud of Reuben for holding the fort and navigating the fleet of kayaks through the terrain, especially during the 2 potages (first over the swampy land through the forest where we encountered a heavy downpour and second over a bridge) where in both instances, we had to physically lift and carry our kayaks over land. Though we were somewhat lost, and this chemist could only assure him of his directions based on intuition, I think we did very well. Hey, at least we reached our destination on time!

The sleep in the tents was uncomfortable. Half the time, I slept sitting upright owing to the lack of space and the wet surface. I think I also lost some blood that night to the mosquitoes and sand flies.

Oh yes, I was sun burnt! So much for the sunblock.

Day Three - 9 July 2007

Land expedition - Trekking round Ubin with our backpacks to reach 3 checkpoints and to reach base camp by 2.30pm.

I carried a backpack with 1 tent, 2 wet ponchos, 2 life jackets, 3 sets of personal belongings from the start to the end of the land expedition. My shoulders ached; my back was sore and to make matters worst, my left hand was red and swelling and the mosquitoes didn't spare me from their onslaught either.

2.30pm - Washington arrived at base camp. How punctual can we get!

Caving - A series of tunnels in pitch darkness where 7 of us had to manoeuvre our way out of it. I was at some point claustrophobic; but the experience was thought-provoking.

The day was long and both physically and mentally draining.

At 9.30pm, we had to build a trebuchet within one hour. The task was to build a simple catapult to launch an egg over the longest distance possible without breaking it. Based on the credits we had, we purchased the necessary items but failed to materialise our envisioned idea of the trebuchet. On the spur of the moment when Xin Wei started to play with the sticks, I and him came up with a really crappy trebuchet and decided to call it a night. We were indeed desperate, for unlike the rest of the other 6 teams, we had yet to have our shower.

Shower (a real long one I must emphasise), a visit to the medical centre to have some cream applied to my left hand, and a good inviting sleep.

Oh yes, I was officially a red lobster!

Day Four - 10 July 2007

Home-coming! However not before attempting a last obstacle which required me to climb to a high ground and walk across a thin metal wire, supporting myself with ropes spaced at broad intervals dangling above.

The journey back home was indeed sweet.

The memories deeply ebbed in my head; each scene unfolding in a different light, a different perspective.

memo to myself

2007-05-26T15:12:00.000+01:00

I think it is time I moved on
farewell (for now) my dearest students
farewell (for now) my great bunch of colleagues

orientation

2007-05-16T12:14:00.000+01:00

should I stay or leave?
a dilemna indeed...
I need some orientation...

mother's day

2007-05-13T12:13:00.000+01:00

food galore
yummylicious!
(of course...mum's the word)

bluntness

2007-05-11T12:06:00.000+01:00

bluntness - the words to be mindful of
the offensive the offended and the offending

the things we do; the things we say; the things that matter

the hurts and regrets... (to hell with it)
yet hell seems to be lurking around

everywhere
excess baggage
from the distant past (a possibility indeed)

added wounds to an already wounded
bluntness
hurts and regrets... (the devil with hell)

thirty-two

2007-04-30T17:38:00.000+01:00

drive faster
don't be a road hog
avoid the delay
speed up!

thirty-two
trash it (I say)
remember it (I must)
learn from (most definitely)

two-three
redemption (my second stab)
could it be earlier (time will tell)

Much Ado About Nothing

2007-04-04T16:12:00.000+01:00

So here's the deal, I do not need to report to school for work every Wednesdays because I do not have a class to teach on that day. So I won't be paid on that day and neither will my services be required for Wednesday. Here's the deal, they say, just teach the classes you have been assigned and leave the decision-making to the people who are supposed to be the decision makers. Here's the real deal, when you make a decision and it concerns me, I think it is only cordial if I were aware of it during the midst of discussion; rather than when everything has been decided.

There are thoughts in my head, many thoughts in fact.

Perhaps with a four-day work week, I can finally do the things I really want and need to do! As for the school, please don't call me on Wednesdays, I ain't available! Period.

...another white elephant...

2007-03-14T02:20:00.000Z

How to plan a learning package for National Education when you, in the very first place, know nuts about National Education except that it is an integral component of our education system?

So my school spent good money on building an NE Stairwell which charts (in some manner of a sort) the different stages of progress Singapore has experienced from past to future. Rather than for it to become another white elephant, yes another, by the graciousness of the principal I have to come up with a learning package for the students such that this white elephant will one day become a focal point for many lessons.

Question. How is this pragmatic?

Personally, when I look at it in a macroscopic picture, I find it laconic that the school can embark on a project without any due considerations given to how the school can best tap on these resources. Even RJC doesn't have such a stairwell!

So now I sit in front of my computer, squeezing every ounce of creativity vibes for an area which would otherwise be just as mundane and trite as Colonial Williamsburg.

Doh!

oh baggar!

2007-03-07T14:00:00.000Z

So the people from blogger.com tested by blog and I do hope that all problems have been ironed out.

Term One is now coming to an end and soon school's going to be out. I think it is going to end on an extremely high note!

The only thing i now need to contend with is the meeting tomorrow. In the words of Jack Sparrow, oh baggar!

test by blogger.com

2007-03-05T19:54:00.000Z

test

break time...

2007-02-20T04:49:00.000Z

School's out!
Time for my respite...
Ain't I beaming with joy...

the pickle king...

2007-02-13T13:52:00.000Z

It's not about the length, but it's about the waist

The Pickle King sure did tickle more than just my funny bone.

Like what I would say, it's the wind that is blowing me around places; hopefully without the excessive huffing and puffing.

in doubt...

2007-01-31T12:36:00.000Z

Right, so where do I go from here?
I am rather apprehensive but I think I need to make a decision soon.
Should I or should I not?
Paradoxical it seems; whimsical though at times
I know not where my final destination is but at least I see my glimmer of hope at the end of each day
Doubt, when in it, ones mind just seem to be caught up in a whirlpool of events so much so that you may actually lose focus and meander off course.

I want my Ben and Jerry's.
I need my saccharine sweetness and psychedelic chocolate bitterness.
I need a good night sleep.
I need my lambs and sheeps to start jumping over me right now!

i need to...

2007-01-28T16:04:00.000Z

I need to breathe fresh air
I need my sustenance before any more ounce of my sanity is lost in this cathartic whirlpool
I need to find myself...again

a brewing excitement...

2007-01-21T07:06:00.000Z

I finally managed to set my laptop up and install the relevant programmes with the appropriate files transferred to it. All in all, it took me a good 5 hours for that, considering that I had 78 Microsoft Updates to download and install.

I am excited. Excited over the new challenges I will face as a new week arrives. Excited because I know it is a new set of challenges that I will face and would need to invest a good amount of time to overcome. Excited because I can finally go for my driving lesson after a two week hiatus. Excited because I now know how to manage my time such that I will not be caught in the whirlpool of administrative matters and lesson-preparation. In short, I am excited for being able to, finally, live a life. Phew!

am just a simpleton...

2007-01-18T14:55:00.000Z

I have said my peace during the English Meeting this afternoon. I think, and to be really honest and frank, we as a department are doing far too much, implementing and fine-tuning way too much, supporting others a wee bit too much so much so to the extent that I am asking the question of its ultimate purpose. For students? For teachers? For the school?

Standardisation. This has been the one word that has been bugging me throughout the entire meeting. Everything has to be standardised and adhered to the set standards and fixations. However, the paradoxical part I seem to have is why aren't these standardisations explicitly stated prior to the start of the academic year given that this year the school is going to be accessed by an external audit firm. It is even more ironic that teachers are expected to do so much when time ain't on their side. What's with personal development when I don't even have the time to sit and think of the 'what's wrong with me?'

Do I really have high expectations? I think I really do. However, I think I am beginning to feel as though I were imposing these said expectations on my students and thus am always pushing myself a step further to try and add the extra oomph or zest or sugar, spice and everything nice to level up the playing field. It is even more pertinent, I feel, as since the students are all banded for English. If banding is so as to group students of the same calibre, of the same language proficiency, of the same linguistic prowess together in the same class, same environment for a more beneficial learning process, then why is adapting so difficult a concept to appreciate. If engagement of the student is what a teacher is supposed to do, then I surely do not wish to have my students to be cut out from the same cookie-cutter as the rest. For the very simple fact that they are banded, I feel that we should respect the banding and encourage supplementary materials to allow you as a teacher to stretch and optimise the potential of your class while at the very same time cementing an even stronger foundation. It is primarily for the interest of the students!

What about me as a teacher? Don't I have time for myself? Can't I have room for myself to actually have a life and appreciate the many facets of life? Seriously, is it that difficult for me to live a life?

My gripe is not about students. For the record, I enjoy teaching my students despite occasional trying moments. However, it is the system of management that I think needs the fine-tuning more than a simpleton like me. Yet, somehow I get the impression that it would very much be of David and his Goliath.

the case for normal technical students...

2007-01-12T16:08:00.000Z

When I was asked to take over the teaching of Normal Technical students for a short period of time, I cringed and hesitated for I knew that deep down inside me that I would not be able to effectively communicate with them and all the more teach them.

I sometimes end up giving up trying to teach them half-way during my lesson for these students simply just do not understand the basic fundamentals of learning - the willing to want to learn.

Tossed from one extreme end to another end of the education bandwagon, these students have in many instances been shunned one side and sidelined. In our pragmatic Singapore society, it is simply the notion of survival of the fittest that children are being brought up in. Normal Technical students, because of their perceived inferiority when compared with the majority of Singaporeans, are therefore better off on their own, living their own lives and better still if they do not leech on the system that elitist have so painstakingly protected throughout time.

Yet, are they such an abhorrent bunch of students that schools should just simply displace them and finally dispose them? Is there really no glimmer of hope in them?

Out of the eight periods of lessons I had with them last week, I can honestly say that only 1 of it was a complete disaster. It became a verbal quarrel and shouting match, something which I honestly feel that is redundant. Yet, deep down, in spite of the disruptive learning environment that they have chosen for themselves, I find that I can still tell myself with hushed confidence that these bunch of students are actually 'teachable'.

Normal Technical students cannot be taught in a sit-down, listen to teacher approach. They are rowdy, disruptive and sometimes a nuisance because of their short attention span, of their ignorance, of their assumed intelligence, of their desire to want to make a statement, of their lack of acknowledgement and recognition of their achievements, of their lack of hope. These students need to be in an environment where they are in the very first place not discriminated by not only the students but also the teachers, they need to be housed in an institution where practical-based learning is its key thrust and focus of its teaching philosophy. The Northlight School, is therefore a laudable initiative that I personally think will reap its bountiful harvest in time to come.

The only thing that's left to do, which is unfortunately a sad reality, is to change people's perception on these students.

i absolutely know what i am doing...

2007-01-08T15:27:00.000Z

Meeting the Parents on Friday night was indeed something unexpected and where I was totally unprepared. I went with an innocent and pure heart and only wished certain people spoke faster. Within 3 working days, I clocked 35 hours and 45 minutes. Interesting ain't it!

I often feel that I am dealing with the consequences of last-minute decisions made by the people above me. Not that I am wantonly complaining nor am I openly welcoming it either, yet, sometimes I feel that I am trying too hard in filling the shoes of others and raising the benchmark such that the game play is now in an altogether different arena.

This week is another challenge for I have to fill in for another teacher. The challenge is not in developing materials to teach. Rather, the challenge is to think of a way to synchronise or complement my materials with what the other people are using. It is often difficult to work without the relevant resources and I think it could be taking a toll on me as well.

As it stands, I have yet to breathe the air of life outside school work. Yet, I am still embracing the next day, for I know that the next day will bring to itself a radically new set of challenges for me to face and therefore overcome. Am I optimistic? Slightly. Will I like what I do? Perhaps. Do I know what I am doing? Absolutely.

beginning with my 2007...

2007-01-01T13:39:00.000Z

There are a number of things I would like to achieve for the year 2007 however I do not wish to call them resolutions either.

First on my list is to enjoy teaching my students. However, in order for this to be true, I would need to first be given a class and be labelled as a relief teacher rather than a support aid.

Second on my list is to learn how to whip dishes up to the satisfaction of my palette especially since I am leaving for my studies later this year. However, given my successful attempt in baking my chocolate cake yesterday, I think learning how to prepare more dishes could be slightly easier.

Third on my list would be to pass my practical driving test and get my license before I leave for my studies. This one may be a little be tricky but still manageable.

Fourth on my list would be to start a systematic quiet prayer time each day.

Fifth on my list (now don't I sound like Earl from the sitcom 'My name is Earl') would be to impact the lives of my students. However to do this I would need to...well, perhaps read the first item on my list.

Sixth on my list (I think maybe I should stop here because if I were to continue, I don't think I would have the strength to do so) would be to learn to be more experimental and maybe less reclusive.

Let's hope this year will bring with it a bagful of surprises, excitement and optimism!

my chummy best friend...the photocopier...

2006-12-29T08:36:00.000Z

What does a support aid do? I wondered as I was introduced to the teaching staff on Thursday. As it stands currently, I am supporting the English Department which is kind of vague because support does not allow me to directly teach students, it just means that most of the time, I will be sitting in the staff room, preparing materials for the respective English teachers. For one, maybe I should embrace the school's photocopier machine and perhaps give it a name too! (Since, the photocopier may just very well be my chummy best friend.)

I slept very little for the past few nights possibly because of the recent meeting I had on Thursday in school. That meeting was indeed long. 12 hours to be more exact.

Perhaps, my role there in school will allow me to understand the mechanics of the school management, the morale of the teaching staff and the general sentiments of the school population. But first, I need to remember how to tie my school tie and more so remember the school song.

Somehow, I feel that what I prepared during the month of November and December to facilitate me in my teaching in the coming week seems rather wasted. Nevertheless, perhaps there is a reason or reasons why I am placed at where I am; reasons which require me to identify in due time.

not so promising prelude to christmas...

2006-12-23T04:36:00.000Z

I think it is either due to the rain or some unexplained forces that is the reason behind the recent malfunction of electrical appliances at home.

First, my television keeps changing channels by itself. No, it is not spooked nor is someone using a universal remote control like the one Adam Sandler had in the movie 'Click.' Hopefully the repairman who is coming later in the evening can resolve the problem on the spot.

So, no television, I can live with that for now. However, my computer is now starting to act up. It seems that some of the application extensions have either been corrupted or altered such that my icons are not showing any pictures at all on numerous Window applications. As I am blogging now, I am concurrently downloading the Windows XP Service Pack 2 to help rectify the fault. I really hope that the faults can be rectified! I have quite a lot of stuff in my computer and I really hope it does not get wiped out or else I am pretty much doomed. [Memo to myself: Get a portable storage drive soon!]

What an interesting prelude to Christmas which personally I don't know whether am I looking forward to or not. Somehow, being at the receiving end of Christmas gifts from my paternal family ain't such an inviting thought actually. Perhaps, it is the lingering past that is still speaking to me after all these years.

of my 4 devotion...

2006-12-22T15:45:00.000Z

A gathering of 15 souls from a class of about 40,
About the past, the present and the future,
A special guest in our midst,
more than one to be precise.

Of hopes and dreams,
Of small wishes becoming a reality
Of a rat race that is slowly catching up with us
Of a simple camaraderie

From proclaimed angels,
however much in disguise
To fallen angels
Memories from a not so distant past.

Laughter,
lots of it to be precise.
Not even the passing drizzle,
could dampen our spirits.

Same bonds,
Same friendships
Same clicks
nothing seemed to have changed

What an enjoyable class!

all about english...

2006-12-15T07:50:00.000Z

I received a call recently from my secondary school regarding my application on relief teaching. Apparently, and somewhat tentatively also, I will be taking three English Classes: a Secondary 1 class, a Secondary 3 Normal Academic class and a secondary 3 Express class.

My apprehension is the secondary 1 and secondary 3 N(A) class. Basically, I cannot remember what I did for English in secondary 1 other than waiting for the bell to ring and the lesson to be over. The lesson was trite and very much disorganised. I remembered having three English teachers when I was in Secondary 1. For the secondary 3 N(A) class, well obviously, I have had no prior experience in such an academic stream so my apprehension is how to tailor a programme that best suits them and yet can be considered enriching on their part.

Things like Grammar, Language Use, Essays and Comprehension skills and techniques are very much what we learn for English yet, I just cannot picture myself standing in front of a class and telling them about the rules of Grammar. Even I could not even stand such lessons!

Currently, I am in the process of developing my own materials for teaching. I must say that in this process, I find myself constantly thinking of the student's reaction to my materials. It is quite a cathartic effect to some extent, however.

Oh well!

starbucks' christmas...

2006-12-07T10:34:00.000Z

This sounds rather Singaporean but it could be a possiblity

The newspaper advertisement read:

Invitation

Starbucks' Christmas

Open House 2006

Come down to any Starbucks Coffee Store

7th December 2006 (Thursday)

5pm - 7pm

and enjoy your favourite Starbucks beverage* on us.

Yes, it's on the house!

Make a donation of your choice and 100% of the proceeds will go to The Salvation Army.

Come and enjoy your Starbucks beverage* on us and make a difference to our community

*One redemption per customer - Tall-sized beverage only - Bottle beverages not applicable - Event only in Singapore

The possible scenerios:

One, the crowd comes pouring in at 5pm and immediately dies off at 7pm sharp.
Two, a customer at the counter exactly at 4.59pm tells the counter staff to wait for another minute before taking his/her order.
Three, a customer who loves coffee brings his/her five-year old child and the toddler to the counter to redeem one Starbucks beverage each.
Four, a customer who comes in at 7.01pm tells the counter staff that she has been waiting since before 7pm and therefore is entitled to the invitation.
Five, a customer comes in at 8pm proudly tells the counter staff that the spirit of Christmas transcends across the limitations of time and thus should have a free cuppa on the house.
Six, a customer who is distinctively Singaporean tells the manager that he/she should be entitled to more than one free cuppa since this event is a Singapore event and hence foreigners and all other foreign talents should deserve less.
Seven, a customer who is distinctively NOT a Singaporean tells the manager that he/she should be entitled to more than one free cuppa since Starbucks is NOT a local brand. It's foreign!
Eight, entrepreneurial Singaporeans make a bee-line at 6.50pm for these free coffee and start selling them at 7.01pm not too far away from Starbucks at a lower cost than what Starbucks would charge for something similar. Ka-ching!
Nine, in all spirit of merry-making and Ho Ho Ho, few actually remember to donate the money they would have to pay for their coffee to The Salvation Army.

The above-mentioned scenerios are purely unintentional and come from the perspective of a non-coffee lover.

final theory test...over

2006-12-05T11:49:00.000Z

Finally, my final theory test became my final theory test today.

A special thanks to Greg who helped me answer some of my questions

Now, on to my practical test!

of children and time-out...

2006-11-30T12:07:00.000Z

A quiet time is often a time when people embark on the process of self-reflection and self-evaluation by scrutinising the actions made or decisions to be made.

For children who misbehave, this self-reflection and self-evaluation is often termed as a time-out where they are isolated from the rest and made to either sit or stand in one corner of a room and to think about his or her actions. This time-out process allows the child to understand, hopefully, why he or she has been punished and to more importantly, learn from their mistakes.

Yet, while the intention of a time-out is a move away from harsh punishment to get the message across, children may in some instances develop an inferiority complex as they are often deemed as a naughty and difficult child to handle. The expression of such a complex would be a subtle dislike of the child's siblings or other children who are deemed as more well-behaved.

The balance in approach to a time-out should be one where such a method is employed only after a verbal warning is first given to the child yet the child still continues to misbehave. In addition, the parent or the person punishing the child should also explain to the child why his or her actions are deemed as naughty. Once the child has realised his or her mistakes, the child should be made to apologise to his siblings or friends for his actions. The parent should credit the child for behaving like a 'big boy' or a 'big girl' to soothening and ease the child's mood.

We have heard about how people tend to focus on the one small miniscule black dot on a sheet of white paper. Likewise, parents tend to focus on their children's bad behaviour and lack of when compared to others. Often times, such a comparison while its intention is purely for motivational sake and to instill a sense of competitiveness in the child, yet by focusing only on the child's black dot would also, in a long run, be discouraging to the child. Parents should credit and complement their children for their good behaviour when they are small to their achievements when they get older. This approach would provide a more holistic balance in dealing with how much and how little should you punish or condone your child's actions.

stumped

2006-11-29T11:55:00.000Z

Perhaps I need to scrutinise my brain cells in greater depth. It's not that I did not study, I did; I still failed my final theory test the second time. Stumped.

I feel kind of disgruntled with myself for choosing some wrong choices but looks like I need to wait till December to take the final theory for the third time. [Note to myself: I must pass my final theory test!]

I have some questions which I hope some people can help me answer them though.

1. The steering wheel controls the front wheels, rear wheels or all four wheels?

2. Can I cross the centre continuous white line on a two-laned dual carriage-way?

3. If I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle, do I test the braking system of the vehicle or do I verify the amount of steering I require to make a turn?

4. If I am approaching a sharp bend at night, but I do not want to dazzle on coming traffic, do I still use my high beam or do I dip my headlights?

5. How far a distance should you keep away from a cyclist who is cycling along the flow of traffic? 0.5m, 0.75m or 1.0m?

Oh well, in my desperate attempt to pass my final theory, I have applied to try the theory trial test to give me some new-found confidence. Otherwise, at the rate I am going, I think I may hit a new record of the number of tries required to pass the final theory test. I think I will go for a few of such trial tests prior to my final theory test which I really hope will be my final theory test.

Somehow, I do not wish my final theory test to becoming another one of my range attempts.

I think it won't be!

2006-11-22T14:45:00.000Z

Why can't we see things the way we used to see them?
Is knowing too much really an anathema?

child-sex tourism

2006-11-21T09:39:00.000Z

The proposed changes to the penal code to include the prosecution of Singaporeans who travel overseas to solicit for sex with young children or minors is timely and in particular, well-received by numerous non-profit governmental organisations such as Partnership in Health and Humanity Foundation who are fighting against child-sex tourism.

In a media report by Channel News Asia, it states that the proposed changes to the penal code have affected sex-tourism in Batam. Many businesses there have since seen a drop in about 50% of its business.

The commercial sexual exploitation of children has devastating consequences for these minors, which may include long-lasting physical and psychological trauma, disease (including HIV/AIDS), drug addiction, unwanted pregnancy, malnutrition, social ostracism, and possibly death. Many of these exploited children are highly sought after by their clients primarily because of a warped perception that in prostitution, age is correlated to the chances of contracting HIV/AIDS; it seems that the younger the child is the demand for that child is even greater. Yet, the fact still remains that contracting HIV/AIDS transcends across a person’s age.

Presently, Singaporeans who have sex with minors in other countries cannot be prosecuted in Singapore, as our courts do not have jurisdiction over them. In light of this, Ms Indranee Rajah asked the Government to stop our nationals from preying on minors in other countries by denying them a safe haven through enacting legislation with an extra-territorial effect.

The idea of an extra-territorial jurisdiction is challenging with respect to investigation and prosecution of cases involving offences committed by Singaporeans in other countries. Some of these challenges include language barriers and different local conditions thus making it difficult to trace and interview foreign witnesses and gather evidence. Therefore, an extra-territorial jurisdiction has to be a collaborative one and by itself is definitely no panacea.

In all aspects of morality, participating in such an execrable act is showing nothing but a complete absence of the intrinsic humane. Many hope that with this inclusion, the Government can send a strong signal to Singaporeans who are sexually exploiting minors overseas that such an act is abhorrent in nature and would therefore deter them from doing so.

service standards...

2006-11-20T07:10:00.000Z

GEMS, which stands for 'Go the Extra Mile Service', is a national movement to improve the service level in Singapore. In February 2006, four million cards were distributed throughout Singapore to encourage customers to show their appreciation for good service.

In my opinion, customer service is a two-way process. Although the customer is always right, well at least that's what most people say, yet I have always believed that it is also the customer that will ultimately be the determining factor in whether the service rendered was good or bad.

I believe that in the service industry in Singapore, one of the reasons why our service standard is still ranked lowly on World Service Standards chart (Singapore is now ranked 26, a drop from 17 in the year 2005) is primarily because the service industry is not given the appropriate emphasis. The launch of GEMS is to encourage better service standards however the perception of the service industry being a platform for many Singaporeans to seek temporary employment is still very much a prevalent perception. Their argument is because a job in the service industry is more of a job where a student would find during his holidays or a person who wishes to earn some money before finding a 'real' job, hence the disparaging service standards in Singapore.

Of course, there are numerous arguments both for and against about the idea of seeking temporary employment and am aware of these arguments as well. In fact, I will be in time, seeking for a temporary employment before going for my studies. However, one of the questions we could ask ourselves when we seek a temporary employment is whether are we taking an ownership in our job albeit temporary. If so, how does it affect our performance and more so our attitude towards our employment.

I believe that in Singapore, our service standards still need a little more work at. I won't gripe about the poor service that I have experienced, because as much as I have experienced poor service, I have also experienced good service too. What I will say rather is in the service industry it is more about finding your own personalised touch with the customers and be flexible in your approach towards handling customers. It sounds easy writing it all down in words but perhaps, that is also how people develop inter-personal relationship skills. For one, the service industry centres on such a skill.

If Giodano can be recognised for its quality service standards, then perhaps it serves as an encouragement to the people in the service industry that rendering good service in Singapore is achievable and possible however much said by the people from the service industry about Singaporeans being a fussy lot.

welfare state...

2006-11-17T09:01:00.000Z

The GST will in time be raised to 7% as announced by our PM recently in parliament. While many are speculating when this increase will take into effect, many more others are also concerned about the depth of government subsidies and its extent. However, all these questions and worries will be dealt with come February 2007.

In response to this increase in the GST, a pertinent issue of a welfare state was raised in parliament and much heavily debated on. For one, the PAP government is strongly against the idea of establishing a welfare state support system in Singapore for fear of encouraging a parasitic dependency on the government. Yet, it comes across as a paradox that it is also this same government that is continually dishing out heaps of financial support aid to the lower-income groups regardless of the state Singapore's economic situation or adjustments in policy. If one were to scrutinise policy making in Singapore, it is notably evident that in almost every policy that is introduced, our government has always taken a keen emphasis and interest in the lower-income group. If this interest and emphasis is, in their definition, a form of cushioning support rather than that of a sustained support, then perhaps the government could explain why these support aids are never temporal but definitive in nature.

I am against the idea of a welfare state support system primarily because it encourages the wrong attitude of taking ownership of ones own needs. I am also not against the support given by the government to lower-income groups. In fact, I strongly believe that the government should play an even more significant role in helping the lower-income groups. However, my point of contention is the amount of support and idea of such a support. In my opinion, the government should offer credible and adequate financial support aids to these lower-income groups with the objective of helping them move towards a level of self-sufficiency. This progressive approach towards the induction of such financial support schemes will not only squelch the blurred lines of welfare support this government undertakes but more so give these lower-income groups an opportunity to work towards a goal and objective to lead a life that is, in their own opinion, a better one.

The idea of self-sufficiency is very much encouraged in Singapore. Being self-sufficient means that ones needs can be addressed where minimal or if not no form of support should be offered to them. People from the middle-income groups are neither rich nor poor; they are what they describe as a 'sandwiched' income group. The middle-income group is often not at the receiving end of financial support aid simply because they are perceived to be self-sufficient. However, in my own opinion, if this government were to speak of equality of the people then perhaps the government's definition of 'who to help' should be re-considered. As much as the middle-income group and higher-income group will require minimal or if not no form of financial support, yet a showing of such a support by the government would be a clear indication that this government functions to address the immediate needs and the absolute interests of all people of Singapore. It is democracy in its finest, in my opinion.

The GST will be increased very soon. As pragmatic people of Singapore, I would not be surprise if market and consumer spending goes up higher before the 5% makes way for the 7%. Perhaps this is one microscopic form of appreciation of this imminent 7%, while we all sit back and wait till February 2007 to fully appreciate this 7% in a more macroscopic way.

2006-11-16T15:57:00.000Z

I need some time to be alone.
At least, to find myself again.

silence...

2006-11-15T07:40:00.000Z

In silence, people find themselves through a series of rhetorical questions that they immerse themselves in by a process of searching ones soul. Sometimes, these questions will help them understand the reasons being why things have developed to such a circumstance; sometimes these questions can also help in something psychologists would like to refer to as the 'healing process'.

Silence, as it were awkward, is different from the silence here. It is an inner peace that one sought after to keep things in equilibrium and more so for your own state of mental and even spiritual equilibrium.

In moments of silence, nostalgic memories, both happy and sad, are memories that evoke laughter, sorrow and perhaps even anger. Yet, sorrow seems to overflow each time. Some would call this silence, new-found, because of the difference in experience of this silence.

eight months...

2006-11-14T15:02:00.000Z

Eight months
We drifted apart, however subtle it was

Eight months (and four days later)
Our journey ceased.

pre-school education...

2006-11-11T10:50:00.000Z

Pre-school education is what I would consider as the first step in formalising a child's education. It gives the child a sense of appreciation of a relatively structured programme which incorporates both work and play and more so a sense of understanding on inter-social relationship skills. This idea of incorporating free play in children to adapt the environment to allow the child to fulfill his greatest potential stems from the teachings of Maria Montessori in her philosophy towards pre-school education.

Pre-school education should go beyond the learning of ABCs and 123s. Neither should it also be under-emphasised when compared with Primary education. In fact, pre-school education is so called pre-school is primarily because pre-school education serves as a prelude to the formal primary education that a child will undertake subsequently after pre-school. Therefore, the idea that pre-school education is of less or more importance than the primary education is of no question to even begin with.

Lower-income families are given subsidies for their children to attend pre-school education at the ubiquitous PAP kindergartens which, in my own opinion, does not provide a comprehensive pre-school education when compared to other privately-run kindergartens which adopts the philosophy of Maria Montessori because of its rigid learning structure and over-emphasised on rote-learning. This difference in teaching is primarily because of first, an undefined pre-school education syllabus, and second, a lack of funding by the government to fine-tune the pre-school education system and third, the government support to address the issue of the calibre of pre-school teachers.

When we look at the available pre-schools in Singapore, we can only lament on the somewhat abysmal programmes that many kindergartens provide primarily because of the absence of a syllabus for pre-school education. Often times, kindergartens run their own programmes and make adjustments to them based on the management and teachers' own personal understanding of the primary one or even primary two syllabus that mainstream schools have to adopt. This understanding varies with each kindergarten and thus may eventually or perhaps is currently producing children who have a different depth in their foundation in Language and Mathematics. This will therefore translate to difficulty in the teaching of primary one and two pupils because of such a wide spectrum of foundation in the Language and Mathematics. It is therefore no surprise, that primary schools these days will want to conduct a placement test prior to class allocation for would-be primary one pupils and will rather band the pupils according to either their results or their weak subjects to be able to cater for them a more compatible and robust education programme that addresses their weak areas and allows them to be stretched to their maximum.

The role of kindergartens today is somewhat different from before. Then, kindergartens were not emphasised in our local context primarily because then parents failed to recognise the importance of a pre-school education and more so there was a general lack of emphasis on a pre-school education in the context of our society. The idea of sending children to kindergartens then was more of a child-care centre which allowed parents to have their children taken care of while parents go to work. However, in today's context, kindergartens do more than just becoming a child-care centre. Kindergartens are seen by parents as a competitive tool to allow their children to have an early head-start in formal education. It is therefore because of this competition that perhaps a re-look at the structure of pre-school is long overdue.

What makes a programme successful is the receptivity towards the programme by the audience. In pre-school, the entertainer is the teacher while the audience are the pre-schoolers. In order to make the pre-school programme that the kindergarten adopts a success, the teachers hired have to first be adept in the programme and second, have the necessary pre-requisites to handle the children of that age.

Pre-school, in my definition, should be one that encourages the children to have the opportunity to explore, to be inquisitive, to be imaginative and to play. With the necessary allocation of funds by the government, I believe that pre-school education here in Singapore can be revamped and fine-tuned.

financial support programmes...

2006-11-09T07:31:00.000Z

Few weeks ago, I had lunch with my secondary school teacher and she raised the issue of fund-raising in her school and the difficulties in explaining to her students why the school carries out a series of fund-raising projects. The bottomline was her students felt that the school was literally sucking the money out of each of them and in their opinion forcing them to donate generously for a good cause.

The Singapore government has set in placed a series of financial aid programmes to help the financially stretched people. At the same time, there are also numerous organisations which also run their own financial support programmes. One such example would be the 'Straits Times Pocket Money Fund'. Acknowleging that these funds are limited and yet are expected to be stretched to its maximum use, there will thus be people who will not be at the receiving end of one of the many financial support programmes available to them.

In a recent 'Get Real' episode, Diana Ser interviewed a mother who had to support both her ailing parents-in-law, at the same time send money back to her own family in Malaysia and pay for her son's medical expenses for a series of major operations with a salary of just under $1500. According to her, she could not qualify for any financial support because of first, her salary and second, the family's combined income as a whole. The focus of that particular episode was to highlight on the inflexibility of such financial programmes where people had to meet requirements in order to receive help. The message I gathered was what more can be done, perhaps by the Government, to help these people who are seriously in need but fail on requirements. A twig in criterion will not arrest the problem in its entirety, rather, a different approach and perspective should be set in place when dealing with such issues.

For one, I do not believe in a one-size-fit-all programme where all accumulated problems can be combed under one single umbrella. I believe in something more practical and immediate and this is something that perhaps people who wish or are currently providing financial assistance can consider.

I believe the problem my teacher faced is the result of the lack of adequate explanation to her students on the 'loopholes' of the current available financial assistance programmes, even with the one her school provides. I also believe that if her students have such violent objections against the idea of a 'generous donation', then perhaps the school could also tone down and be more selective on its fund-raising programmes be it for school or for external organisations, to avoid the problem of apathy towards compassion.

Compassion is a virtue; it is something that comes from within a person. It cannot be taught through books and definitely not through Civics and Moral Education. It is an upbringing and something that each of us will need to experience for ourselves. The question at hand is rather how this experience is translated to us.

moving on...

2006-11-08T10:40:00.000Z

Nobody is perfect; everyone has their flaws and I acknowledge mine and so shall work on it. However, before you start lambasting a person for his flaws and get personal with it, even more so by doodling on the person's personal space, perhaps you should acknowledge yours as well.

当一把刀刺在你的心的时候，你就要忍。
These were the words my chinese teacher told our class when I was in secondary four.

I must say that the words used to describe me are indeed cutting and disparaging. However, I think life has sufficient things for me to worry and think about and somethings are meant to be of primary importance, some of secondary importance and others to be side-lined temporarily and to be resurrected later.

It's a next phase of my life I will be embarking on so let's move on!

i don't know

2006-11-07T14:31:00.000Z

If I say to a person 'I hope you stop existing' wouldn't you not want to associate with that person or the things the person does further? If you not like the person till the extent of hate, wouldn't you ignore the person completely and not be bothered by what the person does? It seems that the idea of 'stop existing' and impression of 'hate' here is somewhat warped. Perhaps my understanding of both ideas is shallow and lacking in-depth. Unless, of course, if the idea of showing ones hate is to attempt to irk the hateful person in every microscopic manner possible, then aren't we going back to the days when we were kids where we told your classmates 'I Hate You' or in a more naive way 'I don't want to friend you anymore'. I wonder who is the bigger kid today?

So if today I say to person(s) that 'I hope you stop existing', would I still want to butt in and make my presence felt despite at the end of the day becoming the butt of other people's jokes? Or am I the biggest joke in town to even begin with? If I say I want to end all things civil with that person, then why do I still want to associate with that person? The nonsensical things people do sometimes to desperately seek attention, however unwanted.

Some feel that arrogance and attitude should be their motto in life. Some feel that being part of a click or group that empowers them to have that air of superiority over others should be their way of life. Yet, somehow, I see little else other than shallowness.

I don't know, perhaps doodling on a person's blog or lampooning a person with insults and defamatory remarks or even drawing interesting caricatures of a person is the new way of showing ones hatred towards a person in today's age and civilised world. Perhaps, if I were to do the same thing to these person(s)... Wait, I am reluctant to do so; I cannot go beyond the thought of such shallow behaviour.

I know one thing for sure is that when this is published, there will be the same person(s) tagging under a misnomer. I also know that I will also have the same people telling me not to bother about these people. I don't know, perhaps if you want to say something about a person and you really want to mean it, I guess leaving your real name adds more credibility and weight to it. Otherwise, it sort of becomes a tiresome rant from nothing more than person(s) who having nothing significant in their lives worth living for than to have to resort to such taunting to derive their entertainment. It almost seems that their own perceived social circle is nothing more than them and the internet.

Oh, if expletives need to be used to help these person(s) understand, then everything I have written earlier can actually be summarised in two words, 'Fuck Off'.

If these person(s) still cannot comprehend this subtle message I put across to them, than it is either these person(s) have had their brains permanently damaged by their experiences in life thus far or they are simply just proudly embracing their social circle of me and the internet. Either way, I am not amused.

nothing but expletives right now...

2006-11-06T11:24:00.000Z

Went back to collect my pink card today. Think it would be the last time I will need to take 975 to some god-forsaken place where an SAF camp resides. I think I can put my travel fare to much greater use in future.

Went back to collect my appreciation gift and some card that has been stuck on the notice board for ages.

First, the appreciation gift. Nothing but expletives right now, so let's move on for the time-being.

Second, the card. For such a shallow write-up about a person where everything is based on built up anger and warped perceptions, I think the writer needs some re-evaluation on himself as a person. Again, more expletives are running through my mind.

If mocking fun at a person's mannerism makes your day, then I think you people who still reside in that un-urbanised area may want to grow up and be a little more mature. (I must think beyond expletives!)

If the character and personality of a person is what that irks you, then perhaps you could move along and shove yourself aside, rather then to put on a facade to uphold your definition of civility and make your lowly life-form even more punishing and tormenting. (No more expletives, please!)

I believe in the theory of the spinning table; where what goes around will eventually come around. For what that you may have found satirical in a person, the same would eventually befall on you in an ever more gracious manner. I could very much say, to hell with you, but I shall let it pass for you people are not worth another bout of profanity.

I am exhilarated that I am once again holding on to my pink card!

it's green...arrgh...

2006-11-04T04:59:00.000Z

Green shit. Yup, I was passing out shit that was green in colour and smelt like algae. Yucks!

The concoction is as follows:
Lots of wholesome and probably not so cooked barbecue crabs, chicken, stingray, fish and squid.
1 whole 350ml bottle of sweet alcohol
1 whole carton of apple and aloe vera juice

Not only does it give you a serious diarrhea, it gives you a 37.5 degree celcius fever too.

All I needed was a big bang on the 5th of November to end all this commotion in a ceremonial manner.

On a lighter note, I am collecting my pink card on 6th November instead of 3rd November as arranged because my commander wants to give the bunch of us a little token of appreciation for all the hardwork rendered during our service. However, I say, the best appreciation is to not hold our pink card back any longer just like your own pink card which will only be returned to you very much later. Very much later.

I need to perfect my control of my steering wheel by the next two lessons. I know I can do it!

my first driving lesson

2006-10-27T12:01:00.000+01:00

I had my first driving lesson today and it was really interesting. I played with the accelerator, the brake and clutch which was initially intimidating as I actually drove round Ubi area many times, practising my turns and my pedal technique. I am getting the hang of driving but I need to constantly look at the mirrors and my blind spots because I tend to always look straight and neglect my blind spots when I turn.

My turning technique is still in the raw stages because I tend to either over-turn or turn too slowly. I guess it is a matter of practise for perfection. The instructor is very patient with me and he is always telling me that there is nothing to be afraid about driving which seemed rather difficult to appreciate as this is my first driving lesson. My gear technique needs some improvement as I tend to use the wrong technique.

It was fun actually, but I left the car with two wobbly legs. I just hope that the two cars, with the drivers taking their practical test, that I was sandwiched between passed their test and was not affected by my driving.

Thankfully, I did not crash the car. Well, not yet. But, I hope I will not.

blogging

2006-10-22T09:54:00.000+01:00

What is a difference between a blog and a diary?

While the latter is something personal and maybe even kept as a secret, the formal is though personal but is tantamount to the scrutiny of the public view.

I asked myself this question recently when I was looking through some of my previous entries on psykedelic-slingsh0t. I wondered whether I felt relieved after I blogged about certain issues or did I consider the volatility of such a personal space that I held back on some issues which resulted in a status quo. I pondered over whether I wanted psykedelic-slingsh0t to be a read that lures people and tips the readership scales or one that is relatively unknown and kept within a close circle of friends. I deliberated over whether was I ever compelled to blog or did I ever find it a chore to blog.

A blog is your personal platform to say things that you really want to express in your nuances and maybe profanity. It is somewhat like narcissism in its finest. Yet, however much of a 'Me' that is emphasied in our own blogs, we need to understand that the basis of blogging is for one to express ones own thoughts and ideas seemingly with freedom. As the adage goes, everything has a price to it, so does this freedom of speech. The consequences of the abuse of this freedom, whether legitimately or not, are in some ways the complete antithesis of having a blog in the very first place. It seems that this freedom that we have ain't exactly without conditions.

There is a new programme by Channel News Asia called BlogTV and they have a website www.blogtv.com.sg which is worth clicking on to view on some of the comments made by people who wanted to leave a first impression.

buzz off

2006-10-20T08:50:00.000+01:00

This blog is a space for me to air my opinions. My own opinions. I am not here to garner the support of the general populace through my writing nor foray into the limelight. This is my platform to talk about things I am interested in talking about. I therefore, do not need unknown people and most certainly people who have suggestive ideas in their minds to tag their lewd comments in my tag box to mar the essence of this blog.

This is my personal space and seek a very simple respect of this personal space. A lack of will only showcase your self-centeredness and diminutive intellect. Furthermore, it speaks more on your repugnant character as a person and makes you even more repelling.

In short, buzz off!

choices...

2006-10-17T10:51:00.000+01:00

There are times when things do not go your way. These moments are usually termed as dark moments. There is an old adage that speaks of a light at the end of the tunnel. It essentially speaks of a sense of direction for people to look towards and more so a glimmer of hope to hang on to. While this hope may be of the faintest light, yet it is because of this hope that many things that were once deemed as impossible are accomplished.

In these darkest hours, there are choices for you to make. A choice to lament. A choice to self-reproach. A choice to blame. A choice to preservers. You have choices, in fact many more choices than the ones listed here. Yet, are your choices made out of your own accord or were they made because of the influence of others? Yet, sometimes we have to make choices for the interest of others like your loved ones. Such choices may be termed as sacrifices but they still are ultimately choices you make.

When these moments of darkness have passed, you begin to reflect and ponder. The mind starts to wonder and think of the what ifs and possibilities. It is a rather cathartic effect. Can we really say that we live by our choices? Or are we just hypocrites to the inner core, painting a facade to others and more importantly to ourselves? Is that a choice we undertake or part of the intricate make-up of the human mind to protect and defend oneself?

Regrets. All of us have them.
Opportunity. All of us have them knocking at our door too.
Yet, it is only a fine thin line that separates the two.
Choices.

where is the view

2006-10-15T12:24:00.000+01:00

I changed my Tag Message Board today because the previous one was giving me problems. It kept asking me to log in to some panel which I had no clue of.

I paid $10 for a T-shirt with my unit logo on it but am not allowed to wear it outside because the unit logo is supposed to be kept classified. Hence my question of why design and force us to purchase it in the first place? I tell myself it is the army hence things work this way.

I paid $7 for a unit photo which I did not want to buy for the memories that I wish to bring along with me when I leave the unit are memories I wish to leave to moments of nostalgia and not something pictorial. Besides, wasn't there a discussion or a plan to give people who are going to ORD soon the photos as a form of appreciation for the hardwork and effort we have put in during our momentary stay here? I tell myself it is the army hence things work this way.

The haze is back, again. The Indonesian Government has realised, I hope, that its efforts to fight the recurring haze problem in our region is futile and needs to seek help from its neighbours. Unless a more viable economic option is introduced to the Indonesian farmers who resort to clearing the land through setting of fires, this haze issue will continue to be a regional problem.

---where is the view from my window...stumped---

the eleventh reason

2006-10-14T04:15:00.000+01:00

This is the eleventh reason why I will NOT miss the army.

People who cannot keep their voices down at night when others are asleep with the lights on. Perhaps one fine day before I leave, I should switch on the lights at 5.30am and make a racket.

kiddish face...

2006-10-11T07:08:00.000+01:00

The sign read:

Today's special
50% off for all students

Add an additional $1 to upgrade to a set meal
which includes soup-of-the-day and bread.

I didn't upgrade my creamy sausage chicken pasta but I managed to get a 50% off for my meal. I paid $3.00 instead of $6.00 at the end of the day.

To think that Ying Yi's 'my mother drove me here so I didn't bring my student pass' worked.

Maybe as what YY (Ying Yi) said, I do have a kiddish face!

---till later---

casting crowns

2006-10-10T16:54:00.000+01:00

On 7 and 8 December 2006, Evangel Family Church presents Casting Crowns, a recent Grammy Award winning group. Casting Crowns, known for their songs with a meaning and strong impact.

The song I would like to introduce today from Casting Crowns is Praise You in The Storm from their latest album, Lifesong. This song in its simplest is to praise God in spite of the dark hours we face.

Praise You in The Storm

I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with You"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

CHORUS
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with You"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

CHORUS

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
(repeat)

CHORUS

Though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

My prayer, is for people who have yet to know God, be acquainted with him,
and more so in their own way.

blowing it away...

2006-10-08T10:59:00.000+01:00

I bought a new bed. Actually I only chose a new bed and my mum paid for it after much persuasion from her to buy the bed because of the offer. The bed looks decent enough and rather comfortable. It is also going to be brown too.

I cleared a lot of stuff under my bed today, and placed them somewhere else in my room because of my new bed. 3 hours spent on just cleaning and packing and of course the inevitable throwing. Now, I am just waiting to bring my army stuff from camp home to complete the entire packing of my room. It is coming, I know.

Right now, my nose is all clogged up because of the dust and dirt. I know my nose is still attached to my face because it is constantly making funny noises but anymore of it and I think I am going to blow it away.

At least it is better than I swallow!

10 reasons for not missing the army...

2006-10-07T08:50:00.000+01:00

10 Reasons for NOT missing the army

1. One Really Stupid Man and his retarded ideas. Wait...can you even consider what he says as ideas?
2. Bland and simply not palatable cook house food. No more of such torment!
3. Yellowed pillow and possibly stained mattress
4. Cleaning the four ceiling fans all by myself when I don't even have one directly above my bed.
5. Saying 'Yes, Sir' to people who do not even deserve such respect
6. Putting on a facade every single day or colloquially called 'wayang'
7. Exploiting and squeezing every single ounce of our brain juices for the interest of national service or so the commanders say.
8. Waking up at 6.00am for breakfast only to have to queue up together with a whole bunch of rowdy mono-intake recruits.
9. Icy cold water for every bath I take in camp.
10. Weekend guard duty. Enough said.

----- a lingering thought...
It is coming.
Coming really soon.
Gasp!
It's 5th November

Freedom
in it's absolute sense

make that proverbial difference...

2006-10-01T14:40:00.000+01:00

10 years old.
That was my first public burst of anger. It came as a rude shock; more so to me. I didn't know that I had so much anger inside me. It took two days of pacifying to make me realise the folly of my actions. It was an awkward moment which many brushed aside and took no heed of.

11 years old.
A string of anger outbursts both in school and at the childcare centre led to a string of unhappiness both in school and in my family. I was frustrated, with what or with who I didn't know. I didn't have the faintest idea nor clue why I was reacting in such a repugnant manner that even I was disgusted at myself. I lost all my childhood friends; lost myself in a world of anger and fury. If hell hath no fury, then I think I was the living hell. I did not understand my actions, neither did my mum nor the counselor. No one did.

12 years old.
I wanted to be kept at a low-profile despite the things that happened. Yet, no one gave me that chance to do so. I lost myself in a whirlpool of hate. I hated a lot of things. A person also. I hated him for walking out on the family to pursue his personal pleasures. I hated him for his presence and lack of. I hated him.

I tormented myself with hate and wrath that my life became a complete mess.

I wanted a voice to hear me. A voice to speak to me without prejudice nor with a facade. I wanted an innocent voice to listen to my cries, to listen to my thoughts, to listen to me. I wanted this voice.

13 years old.
I experimented with things which today I don't even have the faintest idea who I tried it with. It was all in a name of fun to escape from my troubles. It was an extremist way of thought yet appeared inviting. It provided a momentary solution to my problems, an alternative path I would say, but it not eradicate any eventually. I wallowed in more sorrow and self-pity that I lost my shine and myself.

14 years old.
Mrs. Nath. She changed my way of thinking through her ways.

I walked closer with God. I found him in my way.

I learnt to let go, but not completely.

Today.
I am not without flaws nor am I without wrong-doings.
I don't embrace everything that I do whole-heartedly with acceptance and self-approval.
I am not without remorse and regrets.

Yet, I think I have more to give to myself and to the people around me.
Yet, I think I still can make that proverbial difference.

4 strikes and 6 spares...

2006-09-29T12:32:00.000+01:00

4 strikes and 6 spares. A total score of 208 out of two games. That was my achievement from today's bowling competition within the unit as part of our 6th Anniversary celebration. Considering that I have not bowled since a very long time, I think my attempt today is somewhat encouraging.

I am getting a new phone tomorrow however am still tossing between the E618i and E800i from Sony Ericsson. Tough choice actually considering that I only want a phone that allows me to sms and call people. Perhaps take a picture once in a while when I ain't feeling shy of the camera.

Finally, the month of October is here and I cannot wait to start clearing my annual leave for the rest of this year, a total of 12 days, before the very important day of 5th November 2006.

--- till later ---

does not like to be corrected...

2006-09-24T05:50:00.000+01:00

Why is it the principality of things?

In everything that we do, that has to be a fundamental reason behind it. If without, we find ourselves lost while in its midst and eventually throwing in the towel. The principality of things is simply an expression that govern the reasons behind why things happen. The idea behind it is to give an impression of a straight-forward attitude towards things.

I stumbled upon my kindergarten Report book today while I was searching for my Health Booklet. I read with interest in particular the comments written about my level of interest towards school and my teacher's general comments about me. It seemed that I was a rather energetic and active child that required teachers to assign tasks to me to quiet me down. I wonder where this energy has been channeled to today. One mentioned that I was a rather sensitive child and I guess it is quite true considering that I used to react in a rather awkward manner towards things that I didn't like or concur with. However, the most thought-provoking one was that 'I did not like to be corrected'. It made me think for a while, and most definitely not about whether I preferred the tick of acceptance of Nike over Puma or Adidas, and I guess it is somewhat an oxy-moron and paradoxical statement.

Who likes to be in the wrong? Who prefers crosses to ticks? Why is it that Nike chose a tick to represent its products and not a cross? To put it simply, it is about the perception of what a tick means to us. In school, a tick represents a correct answer on a written assignment. More so during examination scripts; you wish to see more ticks than crosses. It is primarily about this innate human nature of seeking acceptance from others that makes a tick so much more important in our everyday lives. It is also no wonder that Nike would choose a tick to represent its products for the same reason of acceptance and if not an over-powering statement of superiority over its market-competitors that makes Nike a successful and renowned brand apart from its aggressive consumer advertising strategy.

The question one should ask then is not about the liking towards being corrected. Rather, it should be about the approach and mind set towards being corrected. This mind set and approach should be one which stems from a positive attitude where the idea of learning from ones mistakes ought to be the primary objective. This is something that cannot be taught overnight. Just like moral education, it is no doubt a topic taught in school, however the fundamental layer for moral education starts from our very own family upbringing. It is the values that our family imposes upon us that results in our public attitude and hence moral righteousness or lack of.

Perhaps the next time you are corrected, you should ask yourself the reason why.

as good as piracy...

2006-09-23T11:56:00.000+01:00

I spent my Thursday and Friday this week staring at the computer for 12 hours straight in office editing a document that is 70 odd pages long. Yet, this document has a classification that I should not even have access to. It is complete ludicrousness that I should leave any semblance of my paw print on this document when the credit will eventually go to a person with three bars on his shoulders. It is as good as piracy.

My Motorola E398 decided to fail on me last week. The parts inside the phone had corroded and when I collected it today, it still failed to work. Strangely, it did not dampen my spirits as I had this premonition that I would need to get a new phone soon. However, I have problems in choosing a phone that is not Nokia for its ubiquity.

I like to have my things managed in an organised and structured manner. Not that I am a structured-freak but I like things placed at where they ought to be placed and not misplaced. Essentially, it makes finding things a little less difficult and a more pleasant experience.

I have came up with a list of things I ought to do after the 5th of November 2006. Such a glorious day, the 5th of November would be. This list is by no means exhaustive but includes, driving lessons, learning how to kayak, relief teaching and eating whole lots more ice-cream. I have many more wacky ideas but guess they are just meant for humour-sake.

---till later---

are we that repugnant...

2006-09-14T16:40:00.000+01:00

Who determines or who sets the standards to define what we perceive as good and bad moral values. Who are we to judge or even criticise others for having poor morality when we are not without flaws to even begin with. As the adage goes, one man's medicine is another's poison. In our quest of trying to re-define and re-shape ourselves to meet societal expectations, consider the fact that what society has in placed is in fact an opinion that majority of the people within the society agree upon. Just like how you would define good and bad moral values.

The IMF is currently held in Singapore. The government has spent numerous resources on sprucing up the venue and its surroundings and painstakingly educating its people whom they represent as voices in parliament to put up warm and inviting smiles to our guests. Guests whom we hardly know by name or even in person. Yet, all the hype. Hosting an international event here is encouraging for a country like Singapore. In an economic perspective, it does in some ways attract foreign investors to pay a closer attention to Singapore. However in a social perspective, all I see is only the teaching of the people of Singapore how to conduct ourselves in front of guests as would a mother to a child when in front of relatives to avoid unnecessary embarrassment. Are Singaporeans such an abhor bunch of people that the government has to discourage us from being near the venue on the pretext of security reasons? Are Singapore such a rude bunch of people that even the government recognises it and is trying its best to cover this up by putting up a 4 million smile facade? Are we that repugnant?

With all the hype and publicity on courtesy and service excellence, the government should consider a more practical approach that is not wholly incentive-based towards encouraging service excellence. One way is to promote the service industry and recognise this industry for its efforts in its entirety. Through appropriate recognition and public awareness, can then we talk about Singapore being a gracious and polite society and then can we see ourselves out of the ranking for the world's most impolite country.

the most loved

2006-09-03T11:30:00.000+01:00

The Most Loved

1 Corinthians 6:19 " Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

From the book of Genesis, we understand that Abraham's faith was tested a total of 3 times. In all 3 tests, God wanted only Abraham's heart. Likewise, God wants out heart.

God will have the faith of believers tested in many ways. However, in all the ways in which He tests us, he is looking at the following areas:

1. Whether we choose to love God or choose to love the things God has given us,
2. Our willingness to give to God what we love the most,
3. Our provisions to God without limit to those who give their all to Him, and
4. Whether we give to God things that cost nothing to us i.e. the value of the things we give to God.

God does not permit sin. However, he does allow Satan to permit sin to show the sinfulness of our heart. With true repentance, God can reduce or even forgo the punishment he originally set his mind upon. Our God is a forgiving God.

As much as God has bless us according to our wishes and prayers, God is asking us to put him first above all else, especially above the things in which he has blessed you for.

God's blessing has an overflowing effect to others. Be blessed, receive your blessings, but do not horde your blessings.

multi-tasking...my take on it...

2006-09-01T13:39:00.000+01:00

Teacher's Day is the first of September every year but schools celebrate it on 31st August. So much for wanting to go back with ying yi to national to see how the school has been ever since I last came back which was last year when I had to collect my results.

Let's talk about multi-tasking today. I like to multi-task simply because it makes the economic sense of time given that we only have that many hours in a single day. I like to multi-task because it gives my brain the opportunity to work effectively and allows it to function to the best of its ability. I like to multi-task simply because it allows me to complete my assigned tasks in a shorter amount of time.

Nay-sayers will say that multi-tasking will only complicate matters simply because the person is not completely focused in what he or she is doing. While I agree that there is some truth in this, yet, the ability to focus varies for each individual. Essentially, it is whether one can complete a task or not.

Multi-tasking is something that many people do. Especially students. Doing tutorials while on msn and listening to the radio or plugging to your ipod with the television switched on. Ain't that a common sight?

---till later ---

in a word...odd...

2006-08-18T16:39:00.000+01:00

I am rather easily irked by people recently. Apparently, my threshold towards the taunting and irritation by others ain't exactly that high. I am having rather odd mood swings and it ain't healthy actually. What is happening to me? Where is that cool-headed personality and rational mind? What is happening to me?

Perhaps I need to be alone for a little while to sort my thoughts out and just be away from nay-sayers. Perhaps I need to distant myself from clicks and groups that so exist only for personal exoneration. I like things less complicated with no strings attached and hidden innuendos. While some call it sophistication, yet I call it a facade. Perhaps that's me.

I should look at things in a different perspective yet why should I be compelled to compromise my stand on issues which I don't see the need to. Why can't others learn that they too exist in this world with others and they should also learn to compromise too. It is just not them living in this ego-system also. Animals barbaric to the core.

Chill. Wonder who would actually say that to me? Ain't life paradoxical enough? Why make it less embracing and inviting when that power to decide lies in your very own hands? The choice lies in my hands I guess. Yet, explain why I saw the characters from Monsters Inc. doing the YMCA dance while I was in lala land? Is there actually coherence in what I am saying? Who cares? I suddenly feel a little like Jacintha from Singapore Idol. Whimsical. In a word, odd.

--- till later ---

a little sophistication...

2006-08-13T12:59:00.000+01:00

Then, students carried long fake leather wallets with a pointed comb in their back pockets. It seemed as a rather odd and somewhat outlandish behaviour only restricted to the uncouth and vulgar. Yet, there were many followers of this fashion fad.

Small school bags that were carried high and tight to the body that left little space for anything else other than a few exercise books and a handphone charger or a cd player. It was another fad that left a rather lasting impression on many people.

Hair gelled to a shape of an M. Some even resorted to using hair bands to keep the M shape. The price to pay to keep up fashion fads is rather high. To think that males then would consider using facial wash as something sissy but using a hair band in public to maintain a fad is not. Ironical.

School bags carried low. That's something I enjoyed doing. Not that it gave me a new found identity but it was a way for me to express myself. Yet at the same time, I had always liked carrying my school bags low. It was just me.

Fashion fads are there for people who are insecure of their own identity to follow. While some fads are seemingly cool, yet the more important thing is to be able to find your own identity and be satisfied with your own image. It is no use replicating someone else when deep down, you know that the person you are trying to show others ain't exactly you.

Sometimes it takes more than a physical transformation to make you blend in with the crowd. Sometimes, you need a little sophistication too.

perplexity...

2006-08-12T12:37:00.000+01:00

Am I a demanding person?
Do I expect others to be like me as well?
Do I actually demand the same expectations of what I have set for myself on others?
I am somewhat perplexed by this.

I have been told by people since when I was still in school that I have pretty high expectations for myself. Often times, I try to do things that exceed expectations however much to the chagrin of my classmates. To them, it was an outright portrayal of an over-competitive person who just wanted to be at the top. Yet, to me, it was just my way of showing others what I am actually capable of.

I have been somewhat cast aside by people within my paternal family. Often times, I feel that they are just putting on a facade to humour me for that moment and after that, everything returns to status quo. Perhaps it is because of their judgmental and superficial stance towards my mum, my sister and myself that ignited a rather odd flame within me to want to do something different.

I admit that I set pretty high expectations for myself. I also know that in many instances when I failed to meet them, I would mellow in a temporal state of self-reproach before working even harder. I tend to be rather hard on myself then on others.

Do my friends, I except them for who they are and learn to appreciate them. However, to my love ones, I tend to demand more from them. It almost seems that I expect them to be an exact replica of me, something which sounds profoundly ludicrous. Perhaps, I should learn to appreciate them for who they are rather then to think of ways to try and change them.

what makes you a singaporean...

2006-08-09T09:41:00.000+01:00

It is National Day today and Singapore turns 41. I wonder, what will I become when I turn 41?

Recently, I watched a programme on Channel News Asia that asked Singaporeans what made them a Singaporean. Some mentioned the food, some mentioned Singlish while others mentioned the multi-racial culture.

Personally, I felt that the producers chose clips that were rather stoic. I would have preferred answers like a conformist government system where people are compelled to make decisions that are politically correct, or a military defense system that is apparently a facade, or a society where people are somehow always in a rush and never appreciative of their surroundings. What happened to all these answers? Why were only the generic ones mentioned?

I am grateful and appreciative of living here in Singapore. In Singapore, everything seems to already be planned for for all of us. There is a government that takes a keen interest in the people and is also slowing accepting the idea of objective people's power. There is a society where people of different races and religion can live harmoniously with each other albeit the random inflammatory remarks made by individuals. More importantly, it is the very simple fact that we live in a peaceful nation.

--- till later ---

my back hurts...arrgh!!!

2006-08-05T16:54:00.000+01:00

I bought three books today. Two of which are books which my mum has been forcing me to buy and read it. The lovely two books are Basic Theory of Driving and Advanced Theory of Driving.

I have this rather morbid fear of learning how to drive. I am afraid that I would crash the instructor's car on my first attempt at driving. Strangely morbid.

This week in camp has been absolutely boring and monotonous. I do absolutely nothing in camp and my back is hurting even more. I read up on some back strengthening exercises and tried them out last Monday in the gym in my camp. Perhaps I require more sessions.

Anyhow, things are indeed looking better. I have a few months more to go until I receive my pink card. Who says men don't love pink?

--- till later ---

one hundred...

2006-07-30T12:37:00.000+01:00

one hundred entries and still going strong
with some zest and some flavour
nothing but just the pure essence of me

a bit of lyrics
a bit of melancholy
a bit of sweetness
a bit of nostalgia
a little bit more on some casual wit

personal space
my thoughts and mine alone
escaping from a conformist and realistic world

a touch of my attitude
a hint of maturity
a desperate need for some candour

save in a crazy world
psykedelic (psychedelic to be more precise) moments
perhaps it is an apparent catharsis

--- you are finally one hundred ---

to you i dedicate...

2006-07-29T05:58:00.000+01:00

I stare into your eyes,
searching for a soul I once knew.
I scrutinise every line on your face,
wondering which of it was because of me.

Weak and weary
that is what you see in yourself
Strong and mighty
that is what I see in you

From black to white
From past to present
(you) took everything in your stride

Savour every moment
Like you would with your coffee.

--- to you I dedicate ---

music...

2006-07-23T09:58:00.000+01:00

I like listening to Orson. Their songs are silly in melody and lyrics but yet it is very catchy and upbeat. Perhaps that is what that draws me to their songs. There is nothing serious about their music but only to brighten up the day of their listeners. I guess that is what music is all about.

I started learning the piano when I was in Primary 4. Initially, it was just basic lessons at YAMAHA. Those days were trying moments because my mum had to fight for my right to learn the piano to my paternal family. It seemed rather ironic that I could not learn things that others can because both my parents do not earn as much as them. From YAMAHA, I progressed to ABRSM. I did poorly for the first four grades. I guess my mum chose a rather bad piano teacher. I re-took my Grade 4 with another teacher, Mrs. Michelle Da Silva and scored my first and only distinction. I was really stunned. My teacher was even more surprised. No one believed the results. Since then, I obtained Merits for my subsequent grades where Grade 8 being the last grade.

Music is something I use to enjoy my day and to allow me to clear some of my thoughts.

---till later---

maids...

2006-07-22T05:59:00.000+01:00

I had a maid when I was in Primary 5. She was from a plump woman in her late twenties but looked no where near that. I remembered teaching her how to refill the tissue box and nothing else actually. I remembered she only stayed with us for two weeks and then decided to pack her bags and leave abruptly.

My mum was a really great employer. She taught her basic house keeping skills and even bought her the food and clothes she liked. Yet, she had far greater aspirations. She wanted to work in a large house. A bungalow to be more specific. It came as an irony since she could not even clean my four-room HDB flat well enough.

Perhaps some things are just not meant to be.

The government has recently introduced a compulsory one day off for all maids. I think this is a good move by the government and should be applauded. This move is not only a simple recognition of the work maids have to do but also is a move which give maids their due respect for the work they have to do. The job scope of maids today is not confined to just cooking and cleaning. Some even have to run errands for their employers and in some instances unknowingly become the surrogate mothers of their employer's children.

Employers should treasure their maids and work towards a harmonious relationship.

Perhaps, some things just need a little more work.

worshipping god in our darkest moments

2006-07-16T11:59:00.000+01:00

Worshipping God in the darkest hours
Acts 16 : 16 - 40

Does the thought of lifting God's name in your troubles seem rather paradoxical or come across as an oxymoron. More often than not, we would glorify God when we experience something we feel that is good to us and would seek God and cry for His help and wisdom when we land ourselves in trouble.

In Philippians 4:4, it reads "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
The verse above says rejoice in the Lord always. It did not say rejoice in the Lord when you are feeling good or when you are in a joyous mood. Rejoice, as seen from the verse above is not held within fixed parameters or confined within certain boundaries. Rather, the key word is 'always'. In spite of your circumstances, we should always remember to rejoice in the Lord.

When adverse circumstances await you, your reaction will determine your depth of relationship with God. As seen in 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair". This verse simply tells us that regardless of your circumstances, if one has God in his heart, one will not be embracing a defeatist attitude or hanging in melancholy.

The onslaught of the enemy is continuous. However, if one learns how to praise and worship God effectively and always, the spirit of God will then give rise to a standard to overcome the taunting by the enemy. It is about the confidence you have in God as well. God can do things beyond your wildest imagination.

The reason why Christians should worship God in their darkest hours is simply because God is ultimately still God. We have heard of anecdotes or testimonies of other Christians who have experienced God's wisdom and guidance in many circumstances. In these circumstances, God had and will never forsake his children.

Colossians 3:1 - 2 reads "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

God allows darkest moments in our lives to allow us to enter into a spiritual realm with him so as to draw closer to our eternal God such that we will and can now face our darkest moments together with God and not alone. God drew us to Him by allowing us to encounter a problem in the very first beginning. Do you think God will leave you alone after the first problem? Often times, people remember the existence of God when they face problems. People will then start to ask God why he allowed these misfortunes to happen to them. However, if we continue to jump on this bandwagon of lamentation and rebuke, we will then not be able to fully rise above our problems.

How do we then get our sustenance to worship God amidst our darkest moments? The answer is the Bible.
Feed on God's word as it lays a strong foundation for one to be grounded in God's word such that it allows us to know how to deal with circumstances. His word not only gives us strength but also is a source of encouragement to allow us to overcome our difficulties. If you are wondering where should I start from? Why not consider the book of Psalms.

When we worship God in our darkest moments, we see three alterations in our lives.
1. A Mental and Spiritual change.
2. A change in your Situation.
3. A change in Others.

However, all the above can only take place if we decide to make the first move to change our perception and learn to put God first in everything we do. It is only when we know that our heart is a heart that is truly seeking God, will we then be able to experience the unseen spiritual power of our eternal God.

tired...

2006-07-15T04:44:00.000+01:00

I watched Over the Hedge on DVD the other day. The plot was simple yet meaningful. It spoke of the essence of being a family. Interesting.

People break down for a reason. As a by-stander, you can choose to either watch and offer simple words of sympathy or you can choose to take a more proactive role.

What if the source of their break down is you? What more can you do?

Sometimes, I find that we are hanging on a thin thread. Yet, there are times when everything seems so unrealistically perfect. Is this what people say the 'ups and downs of life' but in a more literal sense?

I am tired. Tired of the disappointments; tired of the misunderstandings; tired of having to be caught in a whirlpool of emotions.

Perhaps I need some time alone to sort my thoughts out and think about the many thoughts I have temporarily placed aside. Should I?

one tough nut...

2006-07-08T08:57:00.000+01:00

I take a while to warm up to people.
I tend to wait for others to start a conversation.
However, I don't like to become a topic for your conversation.

I don't easily become people's friend.
I prefer to leave it to chance and opportunity.
However, I tend to keep my friends close.

An enigma
That was what someone described me once.
Perhaps I am one tough nut to crack...

It's strange how people can be.
It seems that it is a facade that they love to carry with them.
Yet, perhaps that is how people interact with each other.

--- till later ---

my old motorola is resurrected...

2006-07-02T12:17:00.000+01:00

I resurrected my old Motorola phone to bring to camp because of a new directive which states that no servicemen are to carry with them any camera hand phones within the premise of the camp. Fortunately, my old phone still works but I have already made my stand and informed some of my camp mates that I may be uncontactable.

There is a new directive on disruption. For servicemen who enlist in December / January, these servicemen will be allowed for disruption to attend Australian Universities if need be. However, servicemen intending to attend universities in the United States or United Kingdom will not be allowed to disrupt prior to those from their cohort owing to equity.

In both circumstances, there is a striking problem. It is how MINDEF directives and policies are decided upon and implemented. There is no regard for long term consequences. There is no hint of objectivity in their decisions and most importantly, there is little practicality in their decisions. Take the case of camera hand phones for example. Rather than looking at the situation of security as a hardware problem, MINDEF should be looking at softwares to accommodate their policies on security. I believe that there are camera jamming devices available in the commercial market, yet, because of cost reasons, MINDEF takes a hermit approach to this situation.

Regulars, especially officers are paid so much to do so little. If a pay cut across the board that includes all officers and an on-going retrenchment within MINDEF that also include officers is implemented, I think we can seriously look at a great cost-saving measure here. The issue here is not about covering up the loopholes within an already flawed organisation. It is about surfacing these issues and allow for a genuine public scrutiny.

--- till later ---

thoughts for self-indulgence...

2006-06-25T13:09:00.000+01:00

If you are made to sit in a quiet corner and asked to reflect on the past few years of your life, what comes to your delicate mind?
If you are made to do things against your will, which facade of your character would you want to portray?
If you can change one thing in your life, which one thing would you meticulously pick?
If you were asked to realise one of the many dreams and fantasies you have, which would it be?

Perception.
It is whether you want to be confined within the box or be like Alice in her wonderland.

Opportunity.
It is whether you want to hold it firmly in your hand or let it slip away.

Choices.
It is whether your perception of the opportunity sways in your penchant.

I urge you to indulge yourself in these thoughts.

native english teachers...my take on it...

2006-06-23T17:55:00.000+01:00

Native, defined by the Oxford dictionary, means inborn and natural or a person belonging to a specific place. Native people are usually people who are entrenched into the culture and language of their own local society. These are people who are often said to be the classic, if not the best, representation of their culture and in some cases language.

Recently, the Education Minister proposed the idea of hiring native English teachers to raise the standards of our English. Many questions were raised pertaining to the employment of native English teachers. Some were in favour while some were against this idea.

The use of native English teachers to teach English is somewhat similar to the Ministry's take towards the teaching of the Chinese language or other foreign languages such as German, French and Japanese. In the teaching of these languages, we see that native people have been hired to teach these languages. After all, these languages did not originate from Singapore. When native Chinese teachers were employed to teach Chinese, detractors lamented on their strong accent as one main flaw to counter the argument. However, these detractors were of a very small minority. In many schools today, we see native Chinese teachers being able to engage with their students on both a personal and professional level and have enriched many students through the culture and most importantly, the history of their motherland that they bring along with. Furthermore, the Ministry has, over the years, been sending batches of their teachers-to-be to renowned universities in China to master the language. This move has been widely accepted by the general public.

The use of native English teachers to teach English is however drawing much more public scrutiny and debate. The reason is simple. Singaporeans cannot accept the fact that the language that they have been using as a means for communication all these years, is riddled with flaws. To us, it seems that we have butchered a language so refined and pure in its absolute core but yet have embraced for such a long time. However, the question we should ask ourselves is whether our English standard is really at an acceptable level?

Today, when you go to a school and listen to students communicate with each other, it is distinctively clear that many of the sentences they speak are erroneous and grammatically flawed. Today, when you ask a student which paper is more difficult to pass in an exam, they will tell you that it is the English paper and not the stumbling Chinese block. This is very much so because in both papers, the method of testing is very much different. Unlike Chinese, in English, we do not see a common textbook with words for students to memorise and form sentences out of it. Rather, the English paper tests students on their understanding and appreciation of the language. There is no fixed syllabus for students to apply their all-so familiar rote-learning. The paper is very open and spans across wide genres for testing.

The issue at hand here should not be about the nostalgic approach where the earlier generation learnt and mastered their English. Neither should it be about accent. Rather, it should be about the teaching and use of the language in all areas and subjects. Listen to your Science or Mathematics teachers when they teach you Science or Mathematics. Pay attention to their enunciation, their grammar and their choice of words. Do you spot any flaws?

English is used as the medium for teaching in Singapore. Hence, if you want to talk about raising the standards of our local English, then deal with how this medium for teaching is being mangled by teachers who may not be teaching the language but are using it as a language for instruction in their teaching. If you can change them, then you can confidently change the bulk of Singaporeans.

Singlish, is to some, a 'native' language for Singaporeans because we 'invented' this language. To some ardent lovers of the English language, they often frown upon the use of Singlish. To them, Singlish is a vulgar and if not crude street language that speaks poorly of a person. Yet, is Singlish any bad?

The excessive use of Singlish such that it becomes our mode of communication with others is regrettable. However, as a street language for communication with people, there is nothing unfortunate about it. Think about it, if the use of Singlish can make you get a bowl of noodles at the coffee shop, rather than one that is prim and proper, which will you use?

Is there a then contradiction or should it rather be a status quo approach instead? It is neither. The rules of grammar in English should be very much emphasised in schools. It is a pity that after ten years of struggling with the English language at the primary and secondary level, many students are still unable to produce a work with minimal grammatical errors. The creative approach to the teaching of the language where understanding, appreciation and application should be enforced and recommended. A more thorough approach that involves more writing and oral should be encouraged. The idea of engaging students to articulate their thoughts on issues such as euthanasia, education, family etc. Should be favoured over a rather placid approach where the teacher and student communicate through their sub-standard written work.

Do I want a native English teacher to teach me my English? Maybe. However, so what if you can speak an immaculate English and you come from a country where everyone speaks English; if you cannot teach the language, then regardless of your credentials or birth country or even skin colour, you will be considered as the weakest link in the teaching of the language. Period.

To me, it is not and never about the person teaching. Rather, it is about the quality in the teaching.

may you find your true happiness...

2006-06-23T14:02:00.000+01:00

I visited Villa Francis Home at Mandai Estate today. It is a home for aged and many of them were either abandoned by their children or were placed there because of medical reasons that required constant supervision. None of them had true and real happiness on their faces; most had expressions of loss hope.

I didn't get the chance to talk to any of them as I together with the rest from my unit were tasked to do area maintenance. The place looks well-maintained considering the wear and tear over the years. The staff is pretty friendly though they can get a little edgy sometimes.

Today's visit brought a little smile on the faces of most of the residents there. Yet, like them, we knew that this smile was only temporal. Nothing beats having to see their family one more time.

May you find your true happiness.

---till later---

what happened today...

2006-06-22T11:20:00.000+01:00

Punggol Marina Country Club. That was the place I had to go to for HQ Armour's 27th Anniversary Celebration. The journey there reminded me of the journey to camp. The club is situated no where near civilisation. It was no surprise that people actually got lost en route to the country club.

The turn-out was abysmal considering the number of people in HQ Armour. The high-ranking officers were mostly not present. Perhaps without the presence of the chief and deputy chief of armour, it made it seem pointless for them to attend the event.

The whole set up was pretty organised and looked pretty much like an indoor children's carnival. The games for the telematches were pretty engaging and challenging. Those who participated had quite a lot of fun.

I think the committee did a pretty commendable job and it injected some fun and laughter in what most would expect to be another boring activity.

I bought a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice-cream from Cold Storage today. I am astonished that they raised the prices. I like shopping for my groceries at Cold Storage but sometimes their prices are way too off tangent as compared to the other supermarkets.

---till later---

transformed by trouble

2006-06-19T05:58:00.000+01:00

Romans 8:28 says "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

God uses circumstances to develop our character. It is during sufferings that we learn to pray our most authentic, heart-felt, honest-to-God prayers.

We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose. This purpose is to become like his son, Jesus Christ.

God's purpose is greater than our problems, our plan and even our sin. God is in complete control of our universe and it is also a said fact that God loves us.

Every problem is a character building opportunity and the more difficult it is, the greater the potential for building spiritual muscle and moral fibre.

How should one then respond to our problems as Jesus would?

1. Remember that God's plan is good.
God knows what is best for you and has your best interests at heart. It is therefore vital that you stay focused on God's plan rather than your pain or problem. On the surface,this may seem difficult to do so. However, if one chooses to focus solely on his pain or problem, one would be seemingly stuck in the rut because of a constant microscopic perception that you have placed yourself in.

2. Rejoice and give thanks.
God will never leave us on our own. He is always there with us and this is what makes our relationship with God so unique and special. Give thanks to our God for even the smallest things in life. Remember that nothing is insignificant in the eyes of God.

3. Refuse to give up.
Regardless of the circumstances, never bow down to fear. Ask God for his wisdom and courage to help you see through your difficulties. It is interesting that you will know that you are maturing when you begin to see the hand of God in the random, baffling and seemingly pointless circumstances in your life.

The above sharing was extracted from 'Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren - Day 25: Transformed by Trouble'

i decide...

2006-06-17T09:34:00.000+01:00

Often times when we say we want to start something, we tend to use the words 'I think I will try' or 'Let's give it a shot, but...' By saying such things, it actually gives people the impression that you ain't going to put in your fullest effort in achieving your goals and much less fulfill your ultimate objective. When you want to embark on a new project or kick start a new plan, it is a decision so why not start by saying 'I decide'?

When there is definition in what you say, there is an obscure motivational force that will enable you to overcome the obstacles and odds that come in your way. It is a decision to make.

---till later---

sign up now....for examination papers from top schools...

2006-06-15T15:14:00.000+01:00

I chanced upon this on a singtel website. 'Get your hands on examination papers from top Singapore schools. Sign up now'

I begin to think how being a student is really tough. Being a Singaporean student is much worst. An examination is supposed to be a measure of how well you have understood the work for the term or for the year. Rather, it comprises of prestige, even if it were at a face-value, monetary incentives that extends beyond what your parents give to you in lieu of your results and the list goes on.

What is wrong with our education system? Often times, we hear of students and parents-alike mumbling about how stressed up they are and how our education system is not one that is enriching and diversified in it's entirety. Yet, who gives these people the stress?

Stress is an innate feeling. There is no negative connotation to it either. It is a perception; it is a way of thinking; it is fundamentally dependent on your upbringing. Stress and pressure are two synonymous words. They are often placed together in the same sentence and especially so when one is explaining the either. Stress is something that people give themselves as either a motivational push or as an excuse for their appalling or in their own opinion, an unsatisfactory performance. It can be derived from external sources and your environment but the ultimate decision to embrace stress still lies in your very own hands. This same principle applies to ones attitude towards his or her education.

Singapore's education system is indeed not as diversified as it claims to be. As much as we are pragmatic and realistic people who are market-driven and somewhat of an economist, our education system is slanted towards fulfilling the economic needs of our society. Singapore is a small nation with its people as its main source of resource. In many parliamentary speeches made, the debate was always about the people. In fact, about selected groups of people who are somewhat not on par with the government's expectation of its people. The debate was and still is today, people-oriented.

Singapore's education system has its merits and its demerits. While flexibility and diversity may be its pitfall yet, if one were to analyze our education system in its entirety, one would see how structured, perhaps a little rigid and how inclusive our education system is. Of course, with streaming and bench-marking, our education system comes across as one that is elitist but everyone is of a different calibre. That is a said and given fact. What our education system is attempting to do is to group people of the same calibre together and allow them to have an education that best suits them. It sounds very much like a propaganda but it is a fact, and a well-received fact too. Think about it, if you have people of wide spectrums of calibre in one class, how do you expect yourself to be taught such that it is advantageous to everyone in your class and for yourself. How do you expect yourself to teach such a class? Will you think of segregation or still hold on to this tight rein even though it is highly possible that you may leave some students out?

It is not the best but neither it is the worst. Our education system has rooms for improvement and mindsets to change too. Expectations of our education are indeed high and that is also why parents are willing to invest their confidence in our education system.

Give our education system some ounce of hope!

---till later ---

dear psykedelic...again...

2006-06-11T09:58:00.000+01:00

Dear Psykedelic,

I have hurts in my life that while I have cast them aside yet I have really never dealt with them. I am a person who is pretty good at concealing my inner most thoughts and feelings. I have a natural tendency to keep all my emotions to myself while being expressive on my opinions that do not require my emotive side. I appear strong and stable on the surface but deep down, I can be a nervous wreck when someone asks me 'How are you feeling?' It is a facade you may say, but it has been a facade that I have been holding onto for a very long time and I am still fine. Yet, it has somewhat become a stumbling block in certain areas of my life.

The one thing that has made a significant impact in my life would be how my father momentarily appeared and disappeared for the good part of my life. As a child, I yearned for a chance to see my father when I was at home. Yet, I never did got the chance to do so. Often times, he would be out working or as so my mother wanted me to believe so. My father never did once gave me an allowance when I was in school. There was never any pocket money for food for recess or to buy some candy from the provision shop at my house's void deck. There was never anything of that.

I remember my father as a chauvinist, well somewhat of a chauvinist, who was not a provider and was never once a father figure in my life. I remember my father being a brute though to me, when I did really horrible things like calling him an invalid and useless in primary three in front of my maternal grandmother when he met with a motorbike accident and was forced to stay at home. I never once felt that I had a fatherly love.

My grades in primary school were decent but not excellent. My father never once showed any ounce of concern towards my grades. I couldn't care less about my grades either. In primary school, because I then did not know how to control my temper and emotions, I flared up at even the slightest disagreement and was not only a talking point among my peers but also a source of worry for my teachers. People shunned away from me; all the friends I made left me. One by one. I was alone. All I wanted was for my father to show me some attention. I wanted a fatherly love in my life. Yet, that never happened.

My parents separated when I was in primary six. I was discouraged and I began to keep my feelings to myself. I turned my anger towards my father into hate. I never really spoke to him as a son to a father. Never once. Never once did I even consider him as a helpline to my problems. I thought of myself first then my mother. Some nights, in my quiet room, I would cry myself to sleep, hoping that all these bad memories, if I can classify them as bad, will be left behind.

It was left behind. Eventually.

My father re-married to a woman whom he had been seeing for years while married to my mother. I look at his life today and I see a man devoted to his wife for reasons I do not wish to indulge myself in. I see a man who has a decent house, a decent car but two children who have unfortunately lost faith in him. I attribute the things I have in my life today, first to God's blessings and second to my mother's insistence on providing for and sacrifice for me and my sister.

Today, I do not have any form of hatred towards my father. It takes too much strength to do so. I just don't wish to spend time with him as I feel that there is no need to. I have let go my unhappiness and displeasure towards my father years ago but I have not forgiven him altogether.

Through the grace of God, you can forgive a person. On my human abilities, I am weak. But you are strong. Let me, through the grace of God, forgive my father for the things he has done in my life and allow me to see him as a father, albeit it just for name sake, rather than as a stranger.

Through the grace of God.

Sincerely,

aLbert

all about perception...

2006-06-10T02:59:00.000+01:00

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
But I know waiting is all I can do
Sometimes

Strange and Beautiful (I'll put a spell on you) by Aqualung

I have officially been attached to Manpower Branch of my unit. I am now the Routine Orders Clerk. Basically, that means I wait for people to tell me what they want to include in the day's routine orders and I just have to type it out accordingly in the appropriate format. Not such a difficult job actually but para-phrasing and editing what some people write can be quite tormenting at times.

My appointment to Military Medicine Institute (MMI) has arrived. Finally! It is very funny how the mechanics of things work. I had actually wanted to see a specialist at Alexandra Hospital on my accord as I had already given up hope on my camp's medics. My case was tossed around for a matter of months and they even lost my appointment date at Alexandra Hospital! Oh well, I guess with my appointment now, I see a glimmer of hope. Yet, I wonder why my referral letter landed up at the HQ Manpower Branch which is at a separate building from mine.

Things happen when you least expect it. Yet, everything will eventually fall into place. It is all about perception.

the simpsons and it's correlation to a family...

2006-06-04T12:31:00.000+01:00

I enjoy watching The Simpsons. The Simpsons is really a nonsensical and non-restrictive adult cartoon. The concept is very creative and very current. It is very interesting and of course entertaining to see how the writers actually use these characters to take digs at our everyday mundane lives. I always enjoy watching The Simpsons.

The family in today's society has a very different mission to fulfill. Unlike the past, where the family is one where they stick together in spite of circumstances, the family of today are more inclined towards diversification and living in segmentation. Hardly today, will you find different generations of people living under the same roof. This does not come because of choice or a lack of, but rather it is in relation to the dynamics of society and it's pace. There is a saying that a family that eats together, stays together. This old adage would perhaps be of much practical sense in the past but not today. In our Asian culture, having a meal together as a family holds a deeper significance.

A meal with the family symbolises unity in the family and allows for people to communicate with each other and share their personal thoughts. It gives fathers and mothers the opportunity to talk to their children and bridge closer ties conceal the generation gap. It allows children to understand the intentions and way of thought of their parents, and more so to avoid putting them down. It is not only the physical sustenance that is fulfilled but also the spiritual, moral and simply the intangible sustenance that is being attended to. However, as the pace of society increases exponentially, people are inevitably caught in the humdrum of society and find themselves spending less time in the family or as a family but more in their work lives. Even their social lives take a degree of beating. A meal in today's family is one that is done hurriedly and more so in front of the television. It almost seems that the television is now the focal point of having a meal and even so, the meal may not include everyone in the family.

How then do the family of today attempt to stick with each other. Each member makes sacrifices and compromises. While communication within the family is still very much depended on to keep the family together, it is how this communication is done and when. The children of today, having gone through a vigorous education which centers on encouraging opinions and being more expressive will not emulate similar characteristics of their parents when they were young. They are more willing to question and will say 'no' to you more than they will say 'yes'. It is not the rebellious spirit in the youth of our generation but rather the different mindset and perspectives in which we have and encouraged to do so. But, this does not mean that parents accede to all demands of their children or do not attempt to reason with their children albeit the imminent conflict and possible quarrels. Parents have to be objective and flexible. The dogmatic or tyrannical approach where the father, being the head of the house, has the final say is an approach where many family counselors will frown upon and will divide the family even further. This approach is well, a thing of the past. Involvement within the family and from family members will keep the family together. When everyone takes a conscious effort to make this family work, when parents and children contribute in the sharing, a new family dynamics is shaped and the old is preserved.

Like the Simpsons, Homer does really stupid things and sometimes, the family relations are strained. Yet, when there is compromise, when there is communication, when there is sharing and the willingness from all parties to make this family work, everything will fall into it's correct place.

--till later--- doh!

when i was young...

2006-06-03T09:54:00.000+01:00

When I was young, I looked forward to the weekends. Every weekend, I would see families, whole and complete families, going out for either a meal or for a family outing. Be it a simple breakfast at MacDonald or kite flying at Marina South, the family still went out together. I often sat in my living room, anticipating for that moment to come. Yet, that moment never once materialised.

When I was young, I loved throwing objects at people who anger me. I often allowed my anger to take control of my actions. I did not really like myself, honestly speaking.

My childhood has been riddled with events that I now cannot remember, do not wish to remember or try not to remember but is still coming back to me.

The process of life is one that has its many ups and downs. It is how you want to look at it and then move on.

---till later---

x-men the last stand...

2006-05-27T08:47:00.000+01:00

X-men - The Last Stand is a great movie to watch. Like the previous two X-men movies, The Last Stand is once again about the fight for mutant rights and to fight for the co-existence between mutants and humans. The effects this time are far much grander than before. The new characters that were introduced added some elements of action, drama and of course humour. A word of advice, appreciate the credits for this movie.

choices...

2006-05-26T05:59:00.000+01:00

Doubt leads to fear.
Fear leads to truth.
Truth leads to hurt.
Hurt leads to pain.
Pain leads to suffering.
Suffering leads to anger.
Anger leads to resentment.

Azure skies are never blue. There is a hint of green in it.
Crimson roses are never filled with love. There are thorns in them.

When faced with doubt, do you fear it or confront it.
When the truth surfaces, are you engulfed by the hurt or do you move on.

Choices
That is what life is all about.
It is about making the choices, however right or wrong they may appear to be at that instance.
What matters is to live by the choices you make and move on with life.

---till later---

perhaps i should ride on a ferris wheel...

2006-05-25T10:48:00.000+01:00

I am a person who cannot sit down for hours and do absolutely nothing
I am a person who will not succumb to threats or fears
I am a person who thinks others are shallow when they only present a mirage of their true character
I am a person who cannot stand people nagging at my ear like a buzzing mosquito
I am a person who most certainly do not like dealing with conformist.

Everyone is made from a different cookie-cutter.
No two people are alike.
Yet, how and why do we expect the people around you to conform within your expected norm of thinking and worst, your idiosyncrasies.

I am a person who likes things to be different.
I am a person who is a harsh critic who may just be too cynical at times.
I am a person who enjoys being in good company and let an overwhelming spontaneity take control.
I am a person who likes things neat and in its pristine condition.
I am a person who embraces simplicity and the sub-urban.
I am a person who keeps his thoughts and feelings to himself.

Yes, there are times where I thread on thin line and rub people on the wrong shoulders.
Yes, there are instances when I feel like not doing anything and tears just roll down my face in utter defeat
Yes, there are moments when I distance myself from people and appear aloof.

It is like a Ferris wheel.
It is a cycle that goes on and on but with every new turn it gives you a different perspective, a different emotion, a different feeling altogether.

Perhaps, I should ride on one sometime soon.

---till later---

materialism in a microcosm...

2006-05-21T11:56:00.000+01:00

Materialism is an attitude towards life. It is an attitude that either controls and dictates our lives or one in which we have the control and final say. It is often a misconception that only the wealthy can afford to jump on the bandwagon of materialism. Materialism can indeed affect the bourgeois and even the poor. This attitude towards life is shaped by a string of factors such as advertisements, commercialism, the media and even your peers. This attitude stamps from the very root of the human desire to want more for personal glorification and indulgence rather than need and the herding instinct in all of us.

People work harder or some even trade monetary incentives with grades with their parents just so to attend to the intrinsic human desires of want and belonging to. Sometimes we get to enjoy the things that we have. However, such enjoyment are but only momentary and of a fleeting moment. When the initial thrill of the moment passes and the sense of realism kicks in, what then are the feelings you have? Would it still be the same initial sentiments of joy and pleasure or regret, remorse or the want for more. When you try too hard to belong to a group and demands change according to the wants of a selected few in that group, do you still follow or do you take a stand.

In the biblical sense, when materialism becomes the key thrust of your life and your faith and trust in God is of secondary importance, it becomes a worrying sight as your spiritual relationship with God is twisted and compromised. With all the blessings that God has given you, and more of it you want, will you spend the same, or more or less time with God upon receiving His blessings?

There is a line to be drawn and that line is a line of satisfaction and contentment with what you have. It is natural for people to want to dream, just like Martin Luther King. Yet, at what price does your dream come? Not every want becomes a reality. Some wants are just for that split second of a moment for indulgence and lost thereafter. Some wants are to spur us to work towards a goal or a dream if you may call it. But these goals and dreams are pragmatic ones which do not thread on the line of personal glorification. Some wants are just in the eyes of others, a pure waste of money.

When is enough enough?

---till later---