three years ago,
our eyes met - for the first time.
three years ago,
we did stupid things - we were of an age where stupid things were acceptable
we were still scrambling to find what we really wanted.
three years ago - that seemed like eons ago to me...
three years later,
we stumbled across each other - through a portal where like-minded people spend their endless hours
searching for a personal satisfaction, however momentary it is.
three slices of Hawaiian,
one can of soya bean,
a mind etched with memories of the past - of three years ago.
perhaps all you wanted was to have a taste of me - for you to toy around and have fun for a while
perhaps I was just a substitute for someone you really missed - someone you met before during the last three years.
perhaps that someone gave in to every whim and needs you wanted.
perhaps that someone quarreled less with you than me.
perhaps that someone understood you better.
perhaps you were just tired of me - you want something new - new to experiment and than toss one side.
perhaps that's why, you didn't bother to put in effort in us.
you said: 'when I am with you I feel that we are more than friends, but other than that, I feel that we are just only friends as you don't know me well at all'
I wanted to say: 'when I am with you I feel that I am trying to hard to try to understand you; when I am apart from you, and I read your messages to me, I wonder do you really mean what you say in your messages... friends do not say such things to each other...'
Fourth November Two Thousand and Five
Twelve Thirty in the Morning
you finally said what you have been holding back in your heart for all this while...
you said 'sorry for the false hopes'
you said 'I am still thinking of my ex'
you apologised - but you do not believe in apologies.
Brewerkz.
went there with my friends later that day at night.
I drank my first beer - the first beer which you wanted me to drink with you...
thought I would cry and moan and sulk - thought wrong.
nothing could flow out from my eyes - absolute nothing.
reminiscing about the times we spent together - however short and taxing it was... none flowed through my mind.
deep down, I guessed I had long already given up hope - hope in you and I being in one sentence.
guessed I was just playing along - playing along with you in this game of pretence and bluff.
too bad for me - I lost - lost in this game of bluff...
will I ever want to hear from you again - someone asked me - maybe
do I still think of you - someone probed - for what...move on man...am getting a life...
will you ask me out to hang out, watch a movie and stuff like that - doubt so - think you are afraid of giving me the wrong impression again...
maybe this short fling with me has taught you to appreciate people better - I don't need to know
maybe this short fling with me has made you realise how much more you need to do to win back your ex - that's a good sign
maybe this short fling with me has made you realise the mistake you made three years ago - I ain't going to probe
maybe this short fling with me has made you want to fight for your ex back - best of luck...think you may need it...
if this short fling with me made you any one of the above, i think that the time spent with you was indeed well spent - after all...
two weeks of solitude...
some people have already started missing me already...irony of things...perhaps it could be due my nineteen on eighth...
maybe...just maybe...ain't going to happen...[I don't want false hopes]...
