I went to a Chiropractor for a medical checkup on my spine. I have been suffering from acute pain from the mid to low back region. The pain is sharp in nature and it feels as though I am having a contraction of some sort. Apparently, I am suffering from nerve impingements in the mid-thoracic and lumbar regions. I am now waiting for my appointment for an MMI however it is subjected to how fast the Medical Centre at my camp work. Besides, the Medical Officer there could not even comprehend the report that my Chiropractor wrote much less my x-rays. Some medical officer they are.
I have been asked to go for treatment by my Chiropractor, however it is somewhat too expensive. One session of treatment lasts for 15 minutes and cost $90. However, if I were to choose a package option for my 12 sessions I would only need to pay $800. He suggested 3 sessions per week however in lieu of the brain mechanism of my commanders, I have my reservations.
As of now, I have been medically excused for a month from carrying heavy loads. Yet, the pain is more pronounced these days. It doesn't help since my unit is going to start packing our stores for Ex Pinnacle in Taiwan. Sometimes, I feel kind of helpless and a little neglected because of my medical condition and status. It seems that I am confined to only a microscopic space where work is of concerned. At least, my camp mates are somewhat understanding and do not pass off snickering remarks, not at least in front of me.
I have range tomorrow. I hope to be a marksman and get $200. However, it seems that the odds are against me.
I have a craving for Carl's Junior although I have not eaten there before. Weird.
--till later-----
'Thus begins another love story. The wild dog with his courage and strength, the doe with her gentleness, intuition and elegance. Hunter and hunted meet and love each other. According to the laws of nature, one should destroy the other, but in love there is neither good nor evil, there is neither construction and destruction, there is merely movement. And love changes the laws of nature.'
'In the steppes where I come from, the wild dog is seen as a feminine creature. Sensitive, capable of hunting because he has honed his instincts, but timid too. He does not use brute force, but strategy. Courageous, cautious, quick. He can change in a second from a state of complete relaxation to the tension he needs to pounce on his prey.'
'The roe deer has the male attributes of speed and an understanding of the earth. The two travel along together in their symbolic worlds, two impossibilities who have found each other, and because they overcome their own natures and their barriers, they make the world possible too. That is the Mongolian creation myth: out of two different natures love is born. In contradiction, love grows in strength. In confrontation and transformation, love is preserved.'
'Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.'
Paulo Coelho, The Zahir.
I had PBH this week. It was slightly better than last year as I went home at 7.45pm this year instead of 9.45pm. However this round of PBH left me with bouts of gastric, headaches and fatigue. Things won't get any better as I have range this coming Monday and that means waking up at 4.30am. Who wakes up at 4.30am?
---till later--- fatigue
I watched Brokeback Mountain yesterday afternoon with a friend at Marina Square. I managed to slip past the ticket attendant who didn't really check if I really was above 21 years old.
The movie was intriguing and thought-provoking. While the movie largely focused on the theme of homosexuality, yet it spoke more of finding out one's true identity and personality albeit the social stigmatisation and prejudicial. The movie was tastefully done and portrayed very little on physical intimacy. Incidentally, this also happens to be the first movie I have watched this year.
Later, we ate Ben & Jerry's at Suntec. I had chocolate fudge brownie, strawberry and mango lime. I love chocolates. Not that it is an aphrodisiac but it's the warm fuzzy feeling I get from eating chocolate. It's that feeling that makes you go hmmph and make your day. Mango lime was more lime than mango but it was still great especially since I like sourish stuff too. Can't wait to try the many more flavours there...hee...
PBH starts this week. I hope that PBH this round will be more organised and would be kept to its tight schedule. I do hope that the commanders can put aside all the fuss about aesthetics and attempting to please the Chief of Armour and get down to serious work pronto. I do not wish to book out on Friday night at 9.45pm like the last time.
My mum asked me a very weird question today.
Mum: "Zai (son in Cantonese) ah, how old are you this year?"
Me: Huh?
Mum: "Wait..you are 20 this year right?"
Me: "Still 19..."
Sis: "But don't act like one..." [snickering laughter follows]
Mum: "I thought you are still 16 or 17. I am always telling my colleagues that I have a son who is 16-17 years old. I didn't know you are already 19. Oh no!"
[More snickering laughter follows in the background]
During lunch after church, my sister was talking about how she was really 17 years old and acting her age while I though am 19 going on 20 this year but still am not really to a very large extend acting my age. My mum however was saying about the benefits of looking younger than your age and that I should be thankful for it.
Women.
I had a very lovely conversation with someone today. Yup, you know who you are. You melted my heart and made my eyes tear a little bit. I was really touched by the words you said.
I cried in church today. I felt touched and blessed by today's message especially by Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." As I was singing the chorus to This Kingdom, tears just rolled down my face. God spoke to me today.
Thank you. Thank you for the words of comfort. Thank you for shining light at the end of every tunnel and giving me even more hope each time. Thank you, God.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
Forgive.
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
I had another steamboat at my small uncle's house today for lunch. This time, however, the steamboat was held on a smaller scale. We had a lao hei before we ate and my aunt who had already attended six other lao hei was more than experienced to do a proper lao hei by saying the appropriate Cantonese words as each ingredient was added to the pile of vegetables.
Valentine's day is coming and I will be spending it with a bunch of guys. Nothing much I can do about it, since I am stuck in camp. I remembered that when I was still in NJ, valentine's day was friendship week. Then, my classmates exchanged Hershey''s kisses and cookies. Of course, some had more than chocolates and cookies. I also remembered when my secondary two Literature teacher, Mrs. Nath wanted us to pen down our thoughts on what love is especially since valentine's day was approaching, I wrote with much conviction that "Love is a drug." It threw her off...just a little bit I guess.
Well, since I don't have a valentine, I guess, valentine's day would just be another passing day for me...
Recently, I received several similar messages from my classmates and friends from NJ. Apparently, Mrs Che, a biology teacher from NJ has been diagnosed with leukemia and requires either B+ or O+ blood. As I received more of such messages from my friends, it reminded me of something that I came across from Tuesdays with Morrie.
"Have you really ever had a teacher? One who saw you as a raw but precious thing, a jewel that, with wisdom, could be polished to a proud shine? If you are lucky enough to find your way to such teachers, you will always find your way back. Sometimes it is only in your head. Sometimes it is right alongside their beds. "
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." Henry Adams
--to my friends, have a sweet and lovely valentine's day.
Pardon the verbal diarrhea as I have not blogged for two weeks. Some error with permission and rights. Apparently.
I finished two books this week. One was 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and the other was 'What you believe but cannot prove'.
Tuesdays with Morrie is an excellent book.
"Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely - but eventually be able to say, "All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I am not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I am going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I am going to experience them as well."
Speaks volume.
What you believe but cannot prove is a thought-provoking and mind stimulating book. Danny apparently enjoys reading the book. My father actually gave this to me for Christmas. It was my Christmas present. An ironic gift.
Guard duty last Sunday was a relatively relaxing time due to bad weather conditions. Only prowled two out of four rounds. Good deal as compared to others.
Been thinking quite a bit, perhaps it's time to see things in a different perspective, a different angle.
Bryan Adam's Cloud No. 9 has been ringing in my head recently. It has been a song I liked since secondary school. Ironic as to how the mind works sometimes.
I have an appointment with the MO next week. Things may swing another way.
Saw the photographs Leslie took while he was in London. The place looks interesting and appealing. Can't wait for my turn.
Seems like I am fleeting from one thought to another.
--till later---