one hundred entries and still going strong
with some zest and some flavour
nothing but just the pure essence of me
a bit of lyrics
a bit of melancholy
a bit of sweetness
a bit of nostalgia
a little bit more on some casual wit
personal space
my thoughts and mine alone
escaping from a conformist and realistic world
a touch of my attitude
a hint of maturity
a desperate need for some candour
save in a crazy world
psykedelic (psychedelic to be more precise) moments
perhaps it is an apparent catharsis
--- you are finally one hundred ---
I stare into your eyes,
searching for a soul I once knew.
I scrutinise every line on your face,
wondering which of it was because of me.
Weak and weary
that is what you see in yourself
Strong and mighty
that is what I see in you
From black to white
From past to present
(you) took everything in your stride
Savour every moment
Like you would with your coffee.
--- to you I dedicate ---
I like listening to Orson. Their songs are silly in melody and lyrics but yet it is very catchy and upbeat. Perhaps that is what that draws me to their songs. There is nothing serious about their music but only to brighten up the day of their listeners. I guess that is what music is all about.
I started learning the piano when I was in Primary 4. Initially, it was just basic lessons at YAMAHA. Those days were trying moments because my mum had to fight for my right to learn the piano to my paternal family. It seemed rather ironic that I could not learn things that others can because both my parents do not earn as much as them. From YAMAHA, I progressed to ABRSM. I did poorly for the first four grades. I guess my mum chose a rather bad piano teacher. I re-took my Grade 4 with another teacher, Mrs. Michelle Da Silva and scored my first and only distinction. I was really stunned. My teacher was even more surprised. No one believed the results. Since then, I obtained Merits for my subsequent grades where Grade 8 being the last grade.
Music is something I use to enjoy my day and to allow me to clear some of my thoughts.
---till later---
I had a maid when I was in Primary 5. She was from a plump woman in her late twenties but looked no where near that. I remembered teaching her how to refill the tissue box and nothing else actually. I remembered she only stayed with us for two weeks and then decided to pack her bags and leave abruptly.
My mum was a really great employer. She taught her basic house keeping skills and even bought her the food and clothes she liked. Yet, she had far greater aspirations. She wanted to work in a large house. A bungalow to be more specific. It came as an irony since she could not even clean my four-room HDB flat well enough.
Perhaps some things are just not meant to be.
The government has recently introduced a compulsory one day off for all maids. I think this is a good move by the government and should be applauded. This move is not only a simple recognition of the work maids have to do but also is a move which give maids their due respect for the work they have to do. The job scope of maids today is not confined to just cooking and cleaning. Some even have to run errands for their employers and in some instances unknowingly become the surrogate mothers of their employer's children.
Employers should treasure their maids and work towards a harmonious relationship.
Perhaps, some things just need a little more work.
Worshipping God in the darkest hours
Acts 16 : 16 - 40
Does the thought of lifting God's name in your troubles seem rather paradoxical or come across as an oxymoron. More often than not, we would glorify God when we experience something we feel that is good to us and would seek God and cry for His help and wisdom when we land ourselves in trouble.
In Philippians 4:4, it reads "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
The verse above says rejoice in the Lord always. It did not say rejoice in the Lord when you are feeling good or when you are in a joyous mood. Rejoice, as seen from the verse above is not held within fixed parameters or confined within certain boundaries. Rather, the key word is 'always'. In spite of your circumstances, we should always remember to rejoice in the Lord.
When adverse circumstances await you, your reaction will determine your depth of relationship with God. As seen in 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair". This verse simply tells us that regardless of your circumstances, if one has God in his heart, one will not be embracing a defeatist attitude or hanging in melancholy.
The onslaught of the enemy is continuous. However, if one learns how to praise and worship God effectively and always, the spirit of God will then give rise to a standard to overcome the taunting by the enemy. It is about the confidence you have in God as well. God can do things beyond your wildest imagination.
The reason why Christians should worship God in their darkest hours is simply because God is ultimately still God. We have heard of anecdotes or testimonies of other Christians who have experienced God's wisdom and guidance in many circumstances. In these circumstances, God had and will never forsake his children.
Colossians 3:1 - 2 reads "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."
God allows darkest moments in our lives to allow us to enter into a spiritual realm with him so as to draw closer to our eternal God such that we will and can now face our darkest moments together with God and not alone. God drew us to Him by allowing us to encounter a problem in the very first beginning. Do you think God will leave you alone after the first problem? Often times, people remember the existence of God when they face problems. People will then start to ask God why he allowed these misfortunes to happen to them. However, if we continue to jump on this bandwagon of lamentation and rebuke, we will then not be able to fully rise above our problems.
How do we then get our sustenance to worship God amidst our darkest moments? The answer is the Bible.
Feed on God's word as it lays a strong foundation for one to be grounded in God's word such that it allows us to know how to deal with circumstances. His word not only gives us strength but also is a source of encouragement to allow us to overcome our difficulties. If you are wondering where should I start from? Why not consider the book of Psalms.
When we worship God in our darkest moments, we see three alterations in our lives.
1. A Mental and Spiritual change.
2. A change in your Situation.
3. A change in Others.
However, all the above can only take place if we decide to make the first move to change our perception and learn to put God first in everything we do. It is only when we know that our heart is a heart that is truly seeking God, will we then be able to experience the unseen spiritual power of our eternal God.
I watched Over the Hedge on DVD the other day. The plot was simple yet meaningful. It spoke of the essence of being a family. Interesting.
People break down for a reason. As a by-stander, you can choose to either watch and offer simple words of sympathy or you can choose to take a more proactive role.
What if the source of their break down is you? What more can you do?
Sometimes, I find that we are hanging on a thin thread. Yet, there are times when everything seems so unrealistically perfect. Is this what people say the 'ups and downs of life' but in a more literal sense?
I am tired. Tired of the disappointments; tired of the misunderstandings; tired of having to be caught in a whirlpool of emotions.
Perhaps I need some time alone to sort my thoughts out and think about the many thoughts I have temporarily placed aside. Should I?
I take a while to warm up to people.
I tend to wait for others to start a conversation.
However, I don't like to become a topic for your conversation.
I don't easily become people's friend.
I prefer to leave it to chance and opportunity.
However, I tend to keep my friends close.
An enigma
That was what someone described me once.
Perhaps I am one tough nut to crack...
It's strange how people can be.
It seems that it is a facade that they love to carry with them.
Yet, perhaps that is how people interact with each other.
--- till later ---
I resurrected my old Motorola phone to bring to camp because of a new directive which states that no servicemen are to carry with them any camera hand phones within the premise of the camp. Fortunately, my old phone still works but I have already made my stand and informed some of my camp mates that I may be uncontactable.
There is a new directive on disruption. For servicemen who enlist in December / January, these servicemen will be allowed for disruption to attend Australian Universities if need be. However, servicemen intending to attend universities in the United States or United Kingdom will not be allowed to disrupt prior to those from their cohort owing to equity.
In both circumstances, there is a striking problem. It is how MINDEF directives and policies are decided upon and implemented. There is no regard for long term consequences. There is no hint of objectivity in their decisions and most importantly, there is little practicality in their decisions. Take the case of camera hand phones for example. Rather than looking at the situation of security as a hardware problem, MINDEF should be looking at softwares to accommodate their policies on security. I believe that there are camera jamming devices available in the commercial market, yet, because of cost reasons, MINDEF takes a hermit approach to this situation.
Regulars, especially officers are paid so much to do so little. If a pay cut across the board that includes all officers and an on-going retrenchment within MINDEF that also include officers is implemented, I think we can seriously look at a great cost-saving measure here. The issue here is not about covering up the loopholes within an already flawed organisation. It is about surfacing these issues and allow for a genuine public scrutiny.
--- till later ---